what i'm going to do

After more than a year, I logged on to medicalcareer on mitbbs last night, my blood was boiling and my mind was lost  again in that tangled deep blue sea.... What i'm going to do? At age of 30, I haven't made a step of  my career yet. Passion and ideal are still with me, but just feel i need  a little bit more to make it reality, i think that's courage and motivation... .. Really miss the years when i can do something without a second thought, and don't have to think of responsiblity and consequences..