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Joke 9月刊 3

(2006-10-07 01:53:10) 下一個
於是幹出了至今都覺得很傻的事情。。。。。。                     ┊
 * (18)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *    
          ┊                                                              ┊    
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊    
  *      ┊                                                          *  *     
  ┊           跟著這個老太婆,她討到哪兒,我跟到哪兒......           ┊        
  ┊                                                                        ┊  
  ┊       她和別人說:給我2塊車錢吧,我病了,沒錢坐車。                    ┊  
*                                                                           ┊*
      我就在她旁邊竄出來,大聲說:她是騙子,別相信她,上次騙了我5塊錢...... *  
                                                                            ┊  
      ......就這麽跟了將近半個小時,重複以上行為數十次。                    ┊  
                                                                                
      老太婆發彪了,開始掏口袋。                                               
                                                                               
      對我說:我把5塊錢還你,再給你5塊錢,求求你別跟了......                   
                                                                               
      ......                                                                 ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭       btw:謝謝,沒了。                                               ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊   覺得無聊,請怪liuhen,他求我發的。再次謝謝。                   ┊
 * (19)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊  
  *      ┊   說說我遇到的最不浪漫的事吧   by lonelysarah            *  *   
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊      
  ┊         大學最後一學期,跟班上一男同學在一個實驗室同做畢業設計         ┊
  ┊該同學是典型的技術男,技術很強,RP超好,就是比較木訥,基本不跟女生說話  ┊
*                                                                           ┊*
    一天我寫論文到夜裏12點才想起來回宿舍。                                  *
    走到樓梯口,汗,熄燈了,樓道黑漆漆一片,靜得要死,那叫一個恐怖。        ┊
    木法子,回實驗室裏,一看該男生還在埋頭遊戲中,我就叫他陪我下去          ┊
                                                                              
    伊很爽快地跟我一起走到樓梯口,在伸手不見五指的黑暗裏,很仗義得對我說:    
    “把手給我。”                                                            
                                                                              
    我當時那個感動啊,多麽熱心的好同學,多麽紳士的好男人啊,                  
    於是壯了壯膽子伸出手去                                                   ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *          緊接著,他抓住了我的手,                                        *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (20)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *  
          ┊                                                              ┊  
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊                                                          *  *    
  ┊                                                                  ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
*                                                                           ┊*
        放到樓梯扶手上,說:                                                * 
                                                                            ┊ 
        你自己扶著這個走下去吧。。。                                        ┊ 
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                             ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (21)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊   看看我老婆是怎麽損失100塊錢的   by longlongago1        *  *    
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊               上周5打車                                                ┊ 
*                  被出租車司機找了一張50元假幣                             ┊*
                   一直沒有發現                                             * 
                   周六打車時付賬                                           ┊ 
                   司機師傅要求換一張時                                     ┊ 
                   終於覺悟到破財了                                            
                   於是換了一張100元的給司機師傅                               
                   並開始鬱悶                                                  
                   司機師傅找了3張10塊的                                       
                   又找了一張50的                                              
                   貧嘴的出租車司機阿!                                       ┊
 ┊                "讓你看看真的50什麽樣子"                                  *
 *                我那純樸的老婆                                            *
 ┊  ╭            真的看了看                                                ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊        又和假的比對了一下                                        ┊
 * (22)  *        然後                                                   ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊        然後                            (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊                                                          *  *    
  ┊                                                                  ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊               然後                                                     ┊ 
*                  然後                                                     ┊*
                   然後                                                     * 
                   她就把50元還給師傅了                                     ┊ 
                   臨走還說了一句                                           ┊ 
                   謝謝阿                                                      
                   回家後極度鬱悶                                              
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                             ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (23)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊   某個MM和她的化妝品盲GG(zz)old否?    by serenade1    *  *    
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊           係列1                                                        ┊ 
*            某天各位YUYU團購的雪花膏到手了~幾十罐                          ┊*
             當天傍晚準備把這堆東西弄回家,太重,未遂~~                     * 
             隻好把GG叫來當駱駝。挺聽話,屁顛屁顛地從球場跑來。             ┊ 
             GG(接過來往包裏塞):什麽東西這麽重?                         ┊ 
             ME:雪花膏                                                        
             GG(立馬開始翻包):........好吃嗎?(嚴重懷疑他聽成了雪糕)      
             ME:豬啊你.......護膚品啦!                                       
             GG(沉默3秒):.........那是用來喝的嗎?(還不死心=_=!)          
             (暴打一頓,終於覺悟)                                              
             GG:.........現在流行用這個嗎?真那麽好用?                     ┊
 ┊          ME:老牌子的東西至少比較值得信賴吧。                            *
 *          GG:用了會變白嗎?那也給我用用吧,不然你老說沒路燈就看不到我。  *
 ┊  ╭      ME:.........你沒救了,還是每天用手電照照比較快。               ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  GG:.........你,你嫌棄我~~(做掩麵淚奔狀)                     ┊
 * (24)  *  (再次暴打,終於老實)                                         ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ 係列2                                                    *  *    
  ┊         某次同他一男同事一起吃飯,他同事說自己臉油,想買洗臉的   ┊       
  ┊         東西(天下大亂)                                                 ┊ 
  ┊         GG(明明就是門外漢還裝):油性皮膚嘛!                         ┊ 
*           (估計從我這裏現學現用,騷包)                                  ┊*
             同事(以為他很懂,還點頭):是啊,容易出油。                   * 
             GG:恩........汰漬洗衣粉,便宜量又足........                   ┊ 
             (送你個毛栗子)                                                 ┊ 
             同事:你女朋友應該有給你買過吧?                                  
             GG(突然很驕傲的樣子):有啊有啊!是名牌!                        
             同事:什麽?                                                      
             GG:“高爾夫”。                                                  
             (我一口茶直接噴出去)                                              
             (趕緊抹ma桌子)                                                  ┊
 ┊          這懶人估計根本就沒有用!(是“高夫”啊,天!)                  *
 *          同事(完全沒有絲毫的懷疑):跟車子的牌子一樣啊!                *
 ┊  ╭      GG(也是一本正經):是啊,現在的化妝品牌子都很怪,              ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  聽我女朋友她們說還用什麽“欠扁”的......                        ┊
 * (25)  *  (倩碧啊!上帝!)                                           ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊  (你才欠扁!打得我手好痛)              (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ 係列3                                                    *  *    
  ┊         某天去逛商場,剛進一樓,正門一進去就是ZA化妝品櫃         ┊       
  ┊         (丟人開始)                                                     ┊ 
  ┊         這隻開口,聲音響亮:哎~~好奇怪,化妝品還有叫“喳”的呀!       ┊ 
*            (周圍的櫃台小姐全部笑趴)                                     ┊*
             (欲哭無淚,直接拖走)                                           * 
                                                                            ┊ 
             係列4                                                          ┊ 
             某晚在家看報,突然接到GG電話                                      
             (莫名其妙)                                                        
             GG:你上次給我買的肥皂是什麽牌子的?                              
             ME:........洗澡用的嗎?(年代久遠有點忘,因為每次都是買整排的促  
             銷裝給他)                                                        
             GG:恩,我在超市,肥皂用完了。                                  ┊
 ┊          ME:你天天用自己不記得嗎?                                      *
 *          GG:我說啦,超市說沒有這種。                                    *
 ┊  ╭      ME:........不可能吧........什麽牌?                            ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  GG:“靠”(KAO)                                               ┊
 * (26)  *  ME:........怎麽說粗話啊你!                                 ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ GG(很委屈地):沒有啊!我說的是你買的牌子啊!           *  *    
  ┊         ME:........哪有這種牌子!(火大!我有買過這種粗俗的肥皂  ┊       
  ┊         給他嗎?!!)                                                  ┊ 
  ┊         (三秒頓悟)                               
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