記憶裏的小男孩
在哭：那座無救的林子，父親。
其實虎丘不是一座林子
而是一處盆景，灰色白色黑色的
大石頭，石亭，石徑，石橋
灰綠的樹，當然還有一些遊客
父親說是布局擺放了它們
但也許是說它們擺放了布局
主語和賓語那時，可以時常被互置的
虎丘的後部高聳一座巨石
中間開裂一道深澗，頂上架著一座小木橋
抬頭望著遊人橋上走，恐懼抓住我的心：
父親，虎丘有年代了，木橋定已腐朽
是的孩子，萬物都會腐朽，直至塌圮
晚上我為一個人悲傷著，總會有這麽個人
像最後一根稻草
壓塌了木橋，墜落深淵
木橋受風雨侵蝕，受萬人踐踏和搖動
就是為了把概率磨得越來越薄
砍向
這棵無辜而不幸的稻草
稻草會很快被遺忘
甚至被埋怨為破壞者
為何這般體重，為何背著包袱
為何站在橋上看風景，為何踩著舞步
稻草鮮有可能
被稱為一個殉道者，舍身救了身後某個人
並讓道上有了一座新橋
沒錯，主語和賓語並不重要
我們都參與了布局
從而我們又都被布局其中
沒有一個人是有罪的
隻有一個人是不幸的
其他人合起來，都隻是證明木橋有多好
都隻是在推高條件概率的賭注
即使今天，隻要想到一棵稻草的殉道
我也會流淚的
Memory of Tiger Mount
The little boy in my memory
Was crying - how hapless this garden is, Father.
Tiger Mount was not really a garden
But a bonsai, composed
Of grey, white, and black boulders, a pavilion, a footpath, and a small bridge, all crafted from stone
Of course, there were greenish trees and sightseers as well
"It's the layout that set them out," said Father
Or perhaps what he said was, "It's them that set the layout?"
Objective and a subjective, back then,
Were often interchangeable
The rear of Tiger Mount was a towering rock
Split in the middle, forming an abyss
At the top, a small wooden bridge crossed over it
Looking up at the sightseers on the bridge, fear enveloped me
"Father, Tiger Mount is so antiquated that the bridge
Must be decaying "
"Son, everything is destined to rot, to eventually collapse," said Father
That night, I was overwhelmed by sadness for a person
There must be such a person, like the last straw,
Who would cause the bridge to collapse and plunge into the abyss
The bridge, weathered by wind and rain,
Weakened by the trampling of thousands
Merely to sharpen the blade of probability
And to slash it to the innocent straw
The straw will soon be forgotten
Perhaps even labeled a saboteur
Being so heavy and burdened, looking out on the bridge, or
Walking in dancing steps
Seldom will the straw be called a martyr because
Salvaging someone follows behind, and
Bringing forth a new bridge
Indeed, objective and subjective hold little significance
We have all played a part in shaping the layout
And in turn, we have been molded by the layout
There is no one to have sinned
But only one to have been doomed
The rest combined is just to prove how good the bridge is
Just to push up the bet
Of the conditional probability
Even today, the mere thought
Of the martyrdom of a straw
brings tears to my eyes
