婚後，可以分心嗎？

A friend’s daughter and her first boyfriend broke up. She is a very smart and sweet girl. She liked the boy very much and put all of herself into this relationship. The boy broke up with her two days before her birthday and the graduation prom is coming up next week.
 

It is heart breaking to know what she is going through. I forwarded my message to her “It is like you got a virus infection and are suffering from a high fever. There is no medication but relaxing and resting well. Once the fever is over, you can complete the healing process and become a new you, healthier and stronger. For the time being, the best and the only resolution is to keep yourself busy with other activities. I hope the distractions can prevent you from putting all of your attention into the pain and confusion caused by this shock".
 

No pain, no gain. For almost everyone, growing-up is unlikely to be painless. If distractions can help reduce the pain, the learning process could become more enjoyable. The proper use of distractions , in addition to dedication, may enable us to achieve all types of goals in life.
 

Distractions work for both physical and mental experiences. As we all know that a distraction can help us cope with our unpleasant or negative emotions. As well, it has been reported that playing video games can reduce 50% of pain in a wound cleaning.
 

The use of a distraction could be very effective in our daily life. A good distraction enables us to go through long, repetitive or unfavorable processes. For example, listening to music can help us carry out many common activities, like long distance drives, house chores, homework, and so on.
 

Who can use this tool? It seems that almost everyone can benefit from it, regardless their age, gender, professions or interests. However, it may work very differently on each individual. For example, I am not good at multitasking, and for me a little distraction can do the trick well; while more than a little could make me stressed and distraught. In contrast, for a multitasker like my daughter, double or even triple doses of distraction would be required, otherwise she would become unengaged or underachieving.
 

The tool of distraction not only works for everyday activities but may also help with our relationships. When one pays their full attention to a relationship, tiny and little details could be exaggerated and become powerful enough to produce a huge impact. For instance, in a marriage, day after day, little habits may cause ongoing complaints and unpleasure, which can eventually lead to an unhappy couple or even the failure of their marriage.  

 

To enhance a good relationship or a marriage, we can apply various types of distractions which include, but not limited to, things, activities and people. Actually, intentionally or unintentionally, we are already practising the use of distractions in our marriages. Some are busy with clothes and shoes; some enjoy watching dramas or playing video games; some turn their full attention to their career or to their children; some look for another love affair. The use of distraction in a marriage could be either beneficial or destructive. Which type (or types) and the amount to be applied, are an individual’s decisions and they are made at one’s own risk.
On a side note, it is said that starting a collection may boost one's overall happiness. Is it true? Well, at least it can, whenever needed, distract us from our difficult to manage emotions. The things to be collected could be clothes, jewellery, antique, cars, books, photos, pens, stamps, and so on. In addition to things, are activities, experiences or relationships collectable? Can someone be obsessed with trips and adventures? Can someone be fanatic about pets, friendships or love affairs? Everyone has different needs and each to their own. It seems the one thing that we may all have in common is the undeniable desire to own more. Before asking "More, please", we need to keep in mind that overdose of distractions, collections or everything and anything would be toxic for one's health.
 

In conclusion, a dose of distraction is over the counter and doesn't require a doctor’s note. The proper use of distractions, with the right types and the proper amount, can help us with our everyday life, especially with our crucial and sensitive relationships.

*In point of fact, willingly or not, we are facing all types of distractions that are embedded deeply and broadly into our everyday life. When typing this, I am also chatting with my friends on WeChat, having discussions with my daughter about a movie, while the TV is on and the dogs are barking loudly. It seems to be a normal evening for me, a middle-aged women who is living in the fast-changing and information-overloaded world. I couldn't help wondering whether it is even possible to live one day without any distractions.