Stat2006-04-04 18:00:31回複悄悄話
Good idea! It would be great if KuamgYe and MuMan would provide some poems that you like and provide a little note (optional, such as how you were inspired, or what you like about it...). QY can then add on comment if you still feel like to. Certainly YQ can select more from KY and WM's work.
曠野2006-04-04 16:48:47回複悄悄話
The one without ID is me (you knew it's me don't you Sean?). Sorry, YuQin. I did give my ID (why not?) but somehow the system left it out (I regarded it to be a warning - I'm taling too much):)) Be very sure of yourself, Sean, as said you have my best wishes. Just keep moving.
Stat2006-04-04 15:54:26回複悄悄話
I appreciate your remark.
My attitude towards the net was that we were all a bunch of IDs. So I would only pay attention to the words from an ID instead of the ID itself. But I just realized there are feelings among IDs. So I am reflecting on myself.
I never thought you were nagging. If everyone can share his opinion with others, we will all benefit. The key is to share, not to demand others to adopt our opinion.
Stat2006-04-02 20:50:18回複悄悄話
You are always very understanding. Thank you for telling me the rationale behind it. I also read a progression in the poem. 微小, 平凡, 轉瞬即逝... once we realize that is what we are, we will be less blue and calmer. I don't think I know more of 音韻格律 than you do. It is important though, in my opinion, for free-style poets to understand 音韻格律 since unlike the LvShi, Ci or Qv, there is no "proved" structure for free style poems. Some people are natural with 音韻格律, but for the rest it will be helpful to learn it or at least to learn about it. What you said in the last paragraph is very flattering. I prefer the "twin star" scenario -- the two stars revolving around each other, and to the eyes of others, they are just like one. Every starry night, you would see many of them on the sky. Few know they are actually two united in one. I hope this coincide with your 海天一色, "歸一"的意味. Good night!
"您意思裏透著不情願修改的味道"---->這樣的判語,難道不是"主觀藝術創作者性格"?:))))))))))
玩笑,並無不敬之意:)多點理解,少點誤解:))
已經夠小心了,還是打了錯字。抱歉!
您意思裏透著不情願修改的味道,<輔助方式>想想這個用詞?詩需要怎樣的<扶助>?<加注>算了!?<味道大減>?主觀藝術創作者性格,昭昭然!其他都是空話。罷了!
就個人的經驗而言,標點為一種表達情感的輔助方式. 有些標點, 舍去了,全詩會味道大減,非常可惜.當然,對於標點方麵和斷句方麵的嚐試,我確實做的很少. 一般都是從心隨意,以音律和情感抑揚為上. 您的建議,提醒了我去思考一些可能疏忽了的地方.謝謝.
您是主角,一切磨練以主角從。哈哈!要腳不為,配角吠吠。不美!通知後,自當與您。
那好!嚐試好後,通知一番。我並不是指一個標點都不要用!而是要像畫龍點睛一般。珍惜著用。文字還是主體,標點提供無法斷行的另一個選項與轉折。這首,我也偷去試試看!
我留意到了您作品裏的嚐試.會結合您現在的建議一並思考.其實,也一直在考慮中:) 還望多指導. 希望您在此也論述一下您自身的體會?? 先行謝過.
S一直隻能寫英文,我也是到了昨天才第一次看到他輸入的中文.他應該會繼續努力的:))
謝謝您.
那我就算是得到你大筆一揮的"同意"二字啦:))))謝謝!:))
冒昧提一建議,給您供作練習。把這作品標點全去掉,再排列組合看看!可否玩出不同的風格?當然!在您有空閑時。煩轉S君,看不懂他的論述,深深遺憾!
在這空間裏, 不就是詩嗎? 能一起分享, 不就是甜蜜嗎? :)))
曠兄幽默:)) WXC既然有那麽智能的係統,我們就更要多說話來測試一下嘛!:))
我在此就說明了啊, 在我這裏你怎麽"nagging"也不是nagging, 無任歡迎:))) 我知道S也不會介意的. 我們都有分享不同意見的自由. 你的真實性情和熱誠,在詩中就可見一斑. 我們都很欣賞. 你和舞曼MM的新詩,自成一格. 我還和舞曼M說, 希望能得到允許,ZT/收藏一些她的好詩到我這裏. 正想問一下你呢.若我在我的BLOG裏放一些你的作品(或許還會加點評論:) 不知道能否得到你的同意? :)
My attitude towards the net was that we were all a bunch of IDs. So I would only pay attention to the words from an ID instead of the ID itself. But I just realized there are feelings among IDs. So I am reflecting on myself.
I never thought you were nagging. If everyone can share his opinion with others, we will all benefit. The key is to share, not to demand others to adopt our opinion.
Thank you for your kind note.