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正文
孩子被指“Woo Chinese”解決實例（附信件）
????社會實踐行動係列
李春燕 04/26/2015 5384
4.0/5 1 2 3 4 5
整理者：AJ，春燕
燕子: 現在有個問題請大家獻計獻策：一年級孩子被幾個二年級學生指著說“Woo Chinese”，孩子很難過。1. 家長跟學校溝通時，該要求些什麽？2. 如何跟7歲孩子溝通？
X:?搞清楚這幾個孩子祖宗八代哪來的，指回去。
燕子:That's a good idea. 如果是大一些的孩子真可以幽默地說“what are you?”隻是孩子一年級，這樣confront,怕對自己不利呢。
S:?為什麽會為被稱為"Chinese"感到難過而不是自豪呢？！隻有我們自己自強自信，才是解決問題的根本！
X:主要是對方挑釁的語氣。小孩子被欺負不是自豪不自豪的問題，在中國也一樣，換了別的話題欺負而已。當然，被這樣欺負了，家長得好好引導，不然他把Chinese當成他受欺負的原因，那就糟糕了。
燕子: 小孩子本能會感覺到什麽是友善的什麽是敵意的，如果硬是視而不見就連孩子也無法瞞過吧。孩子說了“Even MLK said not to judge one by one's skin color.” 這樣一個七歲孩子說出這話，我們不應該馬上懷疑是自己孩子不自強自信。
W：具體情況：兒子七歲，在一所不大的教會學校讀一年級。學生整體都很nice。兒子很喜歡學校，每天都很開心，在班上朋友也很多。他是昨晚告訴我這件事情的。每天早上，他們都會在學校cafeteria排隊進教室。兒子說周四早上他排隊的時候，坐在旁邊桌邊的三、四個二年級的小男生用手指著他說，“woo，Chinese”，他沒理他們。第二天早上，同樣的事情又發生了。我問兒子“他們的聲音大不大？”兒子說不大也不小。他沒有報告給老師。兒子說，他覺得不舒服，很upset。兒子還說：“馬丁路德金都說過大家隻是樣子長得不一樣，對不對媽媽？” 然後很委屈地哭了。
我會給他們的老師寫信，也會要求和校長麵談。我想，如果隻是偶爾一天發生這種事情，我會覺得可能隻是那幾個小朋友想說兒子是中國人這一事實而已，可是連續兩天發生同樣的事情就不是那回事情了。七歲的孩子我想他們的語氣還是聽得出來的。原本以為這樣的事情等孩子四五年級以後也許會碰到，可是沒想到這麽小就會發生，讓我有點措手不及。
孩子中文很好，也很喜歡中國文化，是個很自信的孩子。過新年去他的班上講中國新年和文化，他為中國有那麽多的悠久曆史和文化很自豪。
我告訴他，爸爸媽媽會和老師溝通，同時也告訴他如果這樣的事情再次發生，立馬大聲地報告給老師。
我的擔憂是，即便那幾個二年級男生被老師要求道歉，真的就可以杜絕以後類似事件發生嗎？如果你們的孩子碰到類似事情，你們會怎樣安撫孩子和引導孩子解決問題呢？我對兒子說，每個人都不應該因為長相不同而被大家評判，大家都是平等的。你看，咱們的鄰居都來自不同國家，不同族裔。正因為這樣，美國才有那麽多樣豐富的文化。根據膚色評判別人的人，實際上是淺薄又沒自信的人。可是，兒子隻有七歲，還是很擔心他到底理解了多少。
D: 我會和校方反應。老師解決不力的話，上升到校長。不知道大家覺得這樣的問題需要直接上升到找校長嗎？膚色種族歧視在美國是很政治不正確的事。我會希望老師和那幾個孩子談過，嘲弄人的孩子應該做出合理道歉。至少讓自己孩子得到學校的反饋那樣是不對的，學校不支持那樣的行為這樣一個信號。不過沒有和教會學校打過交道，分寸我就不知道合適不合適了。
能不能杜絕你先不需要擔心。至少你做了應該做的，學校做了他們應該做的，再說。孩子有時候隻是淘氣，如果知道學校嚴肅處理，收斂的可能性比較大。學校也有可能會向犯事孩子家長施壓。
Q：教會學校的文化多元程度不高，那些bully們大概沒怎麽見過亞裔？低幼年齡段的孩子偏見較多（慢慢會好一點）。孩子遇到這種情況，可以四目相對，微笑，回答：so I am Chinese, what's wrong? Actually I am a Chinese American, what are you? Canadian American” 表示你也是移民後代，跟我一樣，我們平起平坐，態度不卑不亢，引向平等對話。
WJ: 可以找校長，因為你的孩子可能並不知道那幾個孩子的老師是誰。個人覺得寫信要抱著解決問題的態度而不是單純complaint。 問問校長從家長的角度他/她建議如何教導孩子以及學校是否有措施防止此類事情發生。
S:為避免以後這種事情發生，我建議直接寫信給校長，同時抄送superintendent . 我這兒有封英文版本類似情況寫給校長的信。寫好後我也可以請一位美國校長看下，確保措辭得體。
從長遠來說或者從根本來說，我們要讓孩子從內心覺得自己是華裔是很自豪的，這樣遇到這種情況不會太受傷，同時一定要在各種場合展示自己，受到欺負一定要反擊！美國確實是一個欺軟怕硬的社會。我們不欺人，但是決不能被欺！
Q: 怖力（欺負別人的小混混）往往缺乏同情心，缺乏Pesperctive-taking 能力。也許是自己也受欺負的人，或者在家庭受authoritarian 父母粗暴對待的孩子，以為動武是唯一解決問題的道路，也有在同伴中左右逢緣的popular kids, 但缺乏同情心而刻意欺負他人的人。
基本上各個年齡段都有可能但一般小學生還比較聽從成年人別人老師父母的教誨，而初中生，經曆青春期生理巨變又遭逢到新學校新環境容易有不安全感，欺負他人是使自己的不安全感釋放的機會，並以為這樣可以增加自己的影響力。到高中，social cognition 有所增加，怖力行為比junior high 時期相對減少。
燕子：這篇我們群討論裏麵有另一心理專家H介紹孩子如何應對。http://lichunyan.weidb.com/p14723&g=1682&tag=736&page=1
記得當時我跟校長麵談時說，我們並不太在乎道歉，而是學校應該raise awareness，結果是在學校的assembly 校長強調這事。If the school says there is already general awareness training, we need to request more frequent and specific reminders because kids are still young. They may not have gotten this from parents, but from social network. 我們需要請學校站在我們角度一起解決問題。不論幾個孩子有無惡意，你兒子感覺不好就是不好。最後結果如果是其他孩子意識到什麽behaviors are offensive, 就是正結果。
解決問題更新
W：周一早上，我們給兒子的homeroom teacher寫了信，讓兒子帶到了學校。老師看到後，立即把信轉給了校長。校長和兒子談了話，又讓那四個小朋友分別向兒子當麵和書麵道歉。校長當天下午就給我打了電話通告他們如何處置和對待此事，並向家長道歉。校長說學校每天都有這方麵的教育，但是畢竟年齡小，有時候意識不到自己的行為會傷害別人，我們對此也表示理解。
老師還表揚了兒子，說他很勇敢，speak out for himself。下午接兒子的時候，老師專門等著和我說了一下這件事。兒子很開心，也很驕傲，同時也理解那幾個孩子做的不對，但也不是故意為之。他原諒並且hug了他們。
這就是這件事的前因後果，寫出來希望對大家有所幫助。不過，這隻是低年級孩子之間發生的事情，充其量隻是name calling，和高年級孩子可能發生的惡性bullying 還不一樣。不過，我覺得對孩子是個很好的切身教育，讓他知道不管發生什麽事情，都要勇敢的stand up and speak up for himself。對於其他的小朋友也是教育，讓他們知道有些話有些事情是不能說不能做的，因為會hurt someone's feeling。對於家長來說，更要及時和學校老師溝通，但是要盡量做到平和客觀一些。我覺得學校對這種事情都還是非常重視的，雙方都從對方角度考慮一下問題，問題就可能被解決得更圓滿。
H：這樣的結果很好，是你及時跟老師和學校反映，以及小朋友勇敢告訴父母的結果。一定要誇獎並鼓勵孩子將來有類似情況要勇敢說出來。特別同意你這段話：對於家長來說，更要及時和學校老師溝通，但是要盡量做到平和客觀一些。我覺得學校對這種事情都還是非常重視的，雙方都從對方角度考慮一下問題，問題就可能被解決得更圓滿。
D：處理得非常圓滿。孩子需要的就是這樣的環境，有矛盾衝突知道正確解決的辦法。這裏所有孩子都有得益。
P：我想起看過的一篇文章說oprah的，她9歲的時候，在學校被白人小孩欺負。回家對父母說，她爸爸說，你自己想想怎麽解決。於是Oprah想了一下，就給對方及家長寫了一封信表達她的憤怒和委屈。對方家長道歉，那個孩子之後和Oprah成了好朋友。不知道是不是杜撰的，印象挺深刻。
W：我們事後給校長和老師寫了一封正式的感謝信，謝謝他們對這個事情的快速認真處理，對兒子的鼓勵，作為家長我們很滿意。我的兩分錢：在孩子麵前，要始終表揚他的做法，你是正確的，爸爸媽媽會和你共同解決問題，老師也會幫助我們。不要在孩子麵前表現出擔憂或者氣急敗壞。
AJ：推薦一本書：Words will never hurt me-----Helping kids handle teasing, bullying and putdowns。作者是Sally Ogden, 很實用，裏麵有一些教孩子如何應對的方法和句子，作者推薦家長和孩子在家裏練習這些句子，背誦下來，我覺得對像我這樣英文不夠好的家長，尤其有幫助。
我們州的幾個亞裔組織拉了一筆讚助，委托我們本地的一個州立大學，專門做了一個關於亞裔孩子在學校被bully的研究，其中一個亞裔組織是專門做亞裔心理援助的，包括家庭暴力。他們說可以給我們做一個關於亞裔孩子bully的workshop, raise awareness and educate.
春燕：這件事不僅僅是圓滿解決，重要的是經過多人分享整理出模式，惠及他人。附兩封信，感謝環球先鋒學院Sally Zhang校長提供信件。
[近期其他經驗分享：建立雙文化自信與投入社區
http://lichunyan.weidb.com/p16803&g=1682&tag=736&page=1]
Monday, April 20th, 2015
Dear Ms. R,
Good morning! We are Z and N, M’s parents. This past Friday night (April 17th), M told us one thing that happened in the school’s cafeteria, which we would like to bring to your attention.
On Thursday morning (April 16th) between 7:50-8:00 am in the school’s cafeteria M was lining up for his class. During this time about 3 or 4 second grade boys at the table next to M pointed to him and said “Woo, Chinese; Woo, Chinese”. M was upset and uncomfortable, but chose to ignore them and did not report to the teacher on site. He told us that their voices were unpleasant.
The same thing happened again the next morning at the same time and the same place. We feel we have to take it seriously as it’s not a random incident. We think it is a bullying comment and M’s feelings are hurt. When he was telling us the story Friday night, he asked us very seriously with tears in his eyes, “Martin Luther King said that no one can be judged by their appearance, right?”
We’re not sure if any teachers or other students saw this happening. We understand that these second grade boys are still young kids. They may not realize what they did is inappropriate.
M has been extremely happy with his experience at QP. We do not want to see his life at QP distracted by what happened last week.
Thank you so much for your time. We‘d love to meet with you in person to discuss at a convenient time. Please let us know when that convenient time could be and we will make arrangements to be there.
Sincerely,
M’s parents Z and N
第二封信
Dear Mr. /Ms. (insert principal's Last Name),
Thank you so much for your phone call today.
Your swift actions and the professionalism of your staff made me believe that
my child is in the right hands.
Xx and XX have been harassing K for sometime on the bus and in the bus room. They took her K's belongings without asking. In the hallway, they called him names such as "dumb", "stupid", sometimes "the little Chinese agent". These comments caused K to withdraw and become distressed. Soon afterward, the other kids on the bus started telling stereotypical jokes about Chinese. Their comments are creating an atmosphere where being a Chinese is a bad thing. Then, on Friday when they told K "No one likes you, because you are Chinese”, that really crossed the line. Comments such as “dumb” or “stupid” are clearly indicative of bullying, but comments that are undoubtedly racial slurs are discriminatory and
have no place in an inclusive educational setting.
On Monday, I sent a letter to Ms XX, K's homeroom teacher, to notify her of the incident. However, she was absent that day and she eventually saw the letter on Tuesday. On the same day after school, I accompanied K to see Ms XX, the counselor. She was very attentive and understanding. She took down the details of the events occurring to date, and I believed she went to speak with you right after our meeting.
I was very happy to receive your call today.
However, could you please let me know in writing the following by the close of
business on Friday:
(1) What actions you have taken to rectify the situation;
(2) What preventive measures you will take to ensure that the bullying comments and behavior by XXX and XXX will not reoccur; and
(3) What you will do to address the racial comments directed
toward my son.
In the end, I believe XXX and XXX are two students that need guidance and instruction on what is and is not appropriate. I believe the most important issue is what the students, including my own son, can learn from this experience and use the lessons learned to guide their behavior in the future. Since so many students have witnessed the multiple situations, I suspect that these events have impacted more than just the students directly involved and have had broader reaching consequences. It is especially hurtful when one makes derogatory comments based on race because this is not something a child can control. And, again, I suspect that these are not isolated incidents where comments regarding race have been made. With a large number of Asian students in the school, race must certainly be a salient issue and, as a parent in the school, I desire to raise the level of understanding regarding this issue.
Sincerely,
XXX (K's mom)
????社會實踐行動係列
李春燕 04/26/2015 5384
4.0/5 1 2 3 4 5
整理者：AJ，春燕
燕子: 現在有個問題請大家獻計獻策：一年級孩子被幾個二年級學生指著說“Woo Chinese”，孩子很難過。1. 家長跟學校溝通時，該要求些什麽？2. 如何跟7歲孩子溝通？
X:?搞清楚這幾個孩子祖宗八代哪來的，指回去。
燕子:That's a good idea. 如果是大一些的孩子真可以幽默地說“what are you?”隻是孩子一年級，這樣confront,怕對自己不利呢。
S:?為什麽會為被稱為"Chinese"感到難過而不是自豪呢？！隻有我們自己自強自信，才是解決問題的根本！
X:主要是對方挑釁的語氣。小孩子被欺負不是自豪不自豪的問題，在中國也一樣，換了別的話題欺負而已。當然，被這樣欺負了，家長得好好引導，不然他把Chinese當成他受欺負的原因，那就糟糕了。
燕子: 小孩子本能會感覺到什麽是友善的什麽是敵意的，如果硬是視而不見就連孩子也無法瞞過吧。孩子說了“Even MLK said not to judge one by one's skin color.” 這樣一個七歲孩子說出這話，我們不應該馬上懷疑是自己孩子不自強自信。
W：具體情況：兒子七歲，在一所不大的教會學校讀一年級。學生整體都很nice。兒子很喜歡學校，每天都很開心，在班上朋友也很多。他是昨晚告訴我這件事情的。每天早上，他們都會在學校cafeteria排隊進教室。兒子說周四早上他排隊的時候，坐在旁邊桌邊的三、四個二年級的小男生用手指著他說，“woo，Chinese”，他沒理他們。第二天早上，同樣的事情又發生了。我問兒子“他們的聲音大不大？”兒子說不大也不小。他沒有報告給老師。兒子說，他覺得不舒服，很upset。兒子還說：“馬丁路德金都說過大家隻是樣子長得不一樣，對不對媽媽？” 然後很委屈地哭了。
我會給他們的老師寫信，也會要求和校長麵談。我想，如果隻是偶爾一天發生這種事情，我會覺得可能隻是那幾個小朋友想說兒子是中國人這一事實而已，可是連續兩天發生同樣的事情就不是那回事情了。七歲的孩子我想他們的語氣還是聽得出來的。原本以為這樣的事情等孩子四五年級以後也許會碰到，可是沒想到這麽小就會發生，讓我有點措手不及。
孩子中文很好，也很喜歡中國文化，是個很自信的孩子。過新年去他的班上講中國新年和文化，他為中國有那麽多的悠久曆史和文化很自豪。
我告訴他，爸爸媽媽會和老師溝通，同時也告訴他如果這樣的事情再次發生，立馬大聲地報告給老師。
我的擔憂是，即便那幾個二年級男生被老師要求道歉，真的就可以杜絕以後類似事件發生嗎？如果你們的孩子碰到類似事情，你們會怎樣安撫孩子和引導孩子解決問題呢？我對兒子說，每個人都不應該因為長相不同而被大家評判，大家都是平等的。你看，咱們的鄰居都來自不同國家，不同族裔。正因為這樣，美國才有那麽多樣豐富的文化。根據膚色評判別人的人，實際上是淺薄又沒自信的人。可是，兒子隻有七歲，還是很擔心他到底理解了多少。
D: 我會和校方反應。老師解決不力的話，上升到校長。不知道大家覺得這樣的問題需要直接上升到找校長嗎？膚色種族歧視在美國是很政治不正確的事。我會希望老師和那幾個孩子談過，嘲弄人的孩子應該做出合理道歉。至少讓自己孩子得到學校的反饋那樣是不對的，學校不支持那樣的行為這樣一個信號。不過沒有和教會學校打過交道，分寸我就不知道合適不合適了。
能不能杜絕你先不需要擔心。至少你做了應該做的，學校做了他們應該做的，再說。孩子有時候隻是淘氣，如果知道學校嚴肅處理，收斂的可能性比較大。學校也有可能會向犯事孩子家長施壓。
Q：教會學校的文化多元程度不高，那些bully們大概沒怎麽見過亞裔？低幼年齡段的孩子偏見較多（慢慢會好一點）。孩子遇到這種情況，可以四目相對，微笑，回答：so I am Chinese, what's wrong? Actually I am a Chinese American, what are you? Canadian American” 表示你也是移民後代，跟我一樣，我們平起平坐，態度不卑不亢，引向平等對話。
WJ: 可以找校長，因為你的孩子可能並不知道那幾個孩子的老師是誰。個人覺得寫信要抱著解決問題的態度而不是單純complaint。 問問校長從家長的角度他/她建議如何教導孩子以及學校是否有措施防止此類事情發生。
S:為避免以後這種事情發生，我建議直接寫信給校長，同時抄送superintendent . 我這兒有封英文版本類似情況寫給校長的信。寫好後我也可以請一位美國校長看下，確保措辭得體。
從長遠來說或者從根本來說，我們要讓孩子從內心覺得自己是華裔是很自豪的，這樣遇到這種情況不會太受傷，同時一定要在各種場合展示自己，受到欺負一定要反擊！美國確實是一個欺軟怕硬的社會。我們不欺人，但是決不能被欺！
Q: 怖力（欺負別人的小混混）往往缺乏同情心，缺乏Pesperctive-taking 能力。也許是自己也受欺負的人，或者在家庭受authoritarian 父母粗暴對待的孩子，以為動武是唯一解決問題的道路，也有在同伴中左右逢緣的popular kids, 但缺乏同情心而刻意欺負他人的人。
基本上各個年齡段都有可能但一般小學生還比較聽從成年人別人老師父母的教誨，而初中生，經曆青春期生理巨變又遭逢到新學校新環境容易有不安全感，欺負他人是使自己的不安全感釋放的機會，並以為這樣可以增加自己的影響力。到高中，social cognition 有所增加，怖力行為比junior high 時期相對減少。
燕子：這篇我們群討論裏麵有另一心理專家H介紹孩子如何應對。http://lichunyan.weidb.com/p14723&g=1682&tag=736&page=1
記得當時我跟校長麵談時說，我們並不太在乎道歉，而是學校應該raise awareness，結果是在學校的assembly 校長強調這事。If the school says there is already general awareness training, we need to request more frequent and specific reminders because kids are still young. They may not have gotten this from parents, but from social network. 我們需要請學校站在我們角度一起解決問題。不論幾個孩子有無惡意，你兒子感覺不好就是不好。最後結果如果是其他孩子意識到什麽behaviors are offensive, 就是正結果。
解決問題更新
W：周一早上，我們給兒子的homeroom teacher寫了信，讓兒子帶到了學校。老師看到後，立即把信轉給了校長。校長和兒子談了話，又讓那四個小朋友分別向兒子當麵和書麵道歉。校長當天下午就給我打了電話通告他們如何處置和對待此事，並向家長道歉。校長說學校每天都有這方麵的教育，但是畢竟年齡小，有時候意識不到自己的行為會傷害別人，我們對此也表示理解。
老師還表揚了兒子，說他很勇敢，speak out for himself。下午接兒子的時候，老師專門等著和我說了一下這件事。兒子很開心，也很驕傲，同時也理解那幾個孩子做的不對，但也不是故意為之。他原諒並且hug了他們。
這就是這件事的前因後果，寫出來希望對大家有所幫助。不過，這隻是低年級孩子之間發生的事情，充其量隻是name calling，和高年級孩子可能發生的惡性bullying 還不一樣。不過，我覺得對孩子是個很好的切身教育，讓他知道不管發生什麽事情，都要勇敢的stand up and speak up for himself。對於其他的小朋友也是教育，讓他們知道有些話有些事情是不能說不能做的，因為會hurt someone's feeling。對於家長來說，更要及時和學校老師溝通，但是要盡量做到平和客觀一些。我覺得學校對這種事情都還是非常重視的，雙方都從對方角度考慮一下問題，問題就可能被解決得更圓滿。
H：這樣的結果很好，是你及時跟老師和學校反映，以及小朋友勇敢告訴父母的結果。一定要誇獎並鼓勵孩子將來有類似情況要勇敢說出來。特別同意你這段話：對於家長來說，更要及時和學校老師溝通，但是要盡量做到平和客觀一些。我覺得學校對這種事情都還是非常重視的，雙方都從對方角度考慮一下問題，問題就可能被解決得更圓滿。
D：處理得非常圓滿。孩子需要的就是這樣的環境，有矛盾衝突知道正確解決的辦法。這裏所有孩子都有得益。
P：我想起看過的一篇文章說oprah的，她9歲的時候，在學校被白人小孩欺負。回家對父母說，她爸爸說，你自己想想怎麽解決。於是Oprah想了一下，就給對方及家長寫了一封信表達她的憤怒和委屈。對方家長道歉，那個孩子之後和Oprah成了好朋友。不知道是不是杜撰的，印象挺深刻。
W：我們事後給校長和老師寫了一封正式的感謝信，謝謝他們對這個事情的快速認真處理，對兒子的鼓勵，作為家長我們很滿意。我的兩分錢：在孩子麵前，要始終表揚他的做法，你是正確的，爸爸媽媽會和你共同解決問題，老師也會幫助我們。不要在孩子麵前表現出擔憂或者氣急敗壞。
AJ：推薦一本書：Words will never hurt me-----Helping kids handle teasing, bullying and putdowns。作者是Sally Ogden, 很實用，裏麵有一些教孩子如何應對的方法和句子，作者推薦家長和孩子在家裏練習這些句子，背誦下來，我覺得對像我這樣英文不夠好的家長，尤其有幫助。
我們州的幾個亞裔組織拉了一筆讚助，委托我們本地的一個州立大學，專門做了一個關於亞裔孩子在學校被bully的研究，其中一個亞裔組織是專門做亞裔心理援助的，包括家庭暴力。他們說可以給我們做一個關於亞裔孩子bully的workshop, raise awareness and educate.
春燕：這件事不僅僅是圓滿解決，重要的是經過多人分享整理出模式，惠及他人。附兩封信，感謝環球先鋒學院Sally Zhang校長提供信件。
[近期其他經驗分享：建立雙文化自信與投入社區
http://lichunyan.weidb.com/p16803&g=1682&tag=736&page=1]
Monday, April 20th, 2015
Dear Ms. R,
Good morning! We are Z and N, M’s parents. This past Friday night (April 17th), M told us one thing that happened in the school’s cafeteria, which we would like to bring to your attention.
On Thursday morning (April 16th) between 7:50-8:00 am in the school’s cafeteria M was lining up for his class. During this time about 3 or 4 second grade boys at the table next to M pointed to him and said “Woo, Chinese; Woo, Chinese”. M was upset and uncomfortable, but chose to ignore them and did not report to the teacher on site. He told us that their voices were unpleasant.
The same thing happened again the next morning at the same time and the same place. We feel we have to take it seriously as it’s not a random incident. We think it is a bullying comment and M’s feelings are hurt. When he was telling us the story Friday night, he asked us very seriously with tears in his eyes, “Martin Luther King said that no one can be judged by their appearance, right?”
We’re not sure if any teachers or other students saw this happening. We understand that these second grade boys are still young kids. They may not realize what they did is inappropriate.
M has been extremely happy with his experience at QP. We do not want to see his life at QP distracted by what happened last week.
Thank you so much for your time. We‘d love to meet with you in person to discuss at a convenient time. Please let us know when that convenient time could be and we will make arrangements to be there.
Sincerely,
M’s parents Z and N
第二封信
Dear Mr. /Ms. (insert principal's Last Name),
Thank you so much for your phone call today.
Your swift actions and the professionalism of your staff made me believe that
my child is in the right hands.
Xx and XX have been harassing K for sometime on the bus and in the bus room. They took her K's belongings without asking. In the hallway, they called him names such as "dumb", "stupid", sometimes "the little Chinese agent". These comments caused K to withdraw and become distressed. Soon afterward, the other kids on the bus started telling stereotypical jokes about Chinese. Their comments are creating an atmosphere where being a Chinese is a bad thing. Then, on Friday when they told K "No one likes you, because you are Chinese”, that really crossed the line. Comments such as “dumb” or “stupid” are clearly indicative of bullying, but comments that are undoubtedly racial slurs are discriminatory and
have no place in an inclusive educational setting.
On Monday, I sent a letter to Ms XX, K's homeroom teacher, to notify her of the incident. However, she was absent that day and she eventually saw the letter on Tuesday. On the same day after school, I accompanied K to see Ms XX, the counselor. She was very attentive and understanding. She took down the details of the events occurring to date, and I believed she went to speak with you right after our meeting.
I was very happy to receive your call today.
However, could you please let me know in writing the following by the close of
business on Friday:
(1) What actions you have taken to rectify the situation;
(2) What preventive measures you will take to ensure that the bullying comments and behavior by XXX and XXX will not reoccur; and
(3) What you will do to address the racial comments directed
toward my son.
In the end, I believe XXX and XXX are two students that need guidance and instruction on what is and is not appropriate. I believe the most important issue is what the students, including my own son, can learn from this experience and use the lessons learned to guide their behavior in the future. Since so many students have witnessed the multiple situations, I suspect that these events have impacted more than just the students directly involved and have had broader reaching consequences. It is especially hurtful when one makes derogatory comments based on race because this is not something a child can control. And, again, I suspect that these are not isolated incidents where comments regarding race have been made. With a large number of Asian students in the school, race must certainly be a salient issue and, as a parent in the school, I desire to raise the level of understanding regarding this issue.
Sincerely,
XXX (K's mom)
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