收禮

二零零八年,我在康涅狄格州做中文教師, 任教於New Britain 的一所小學, 胡豔任教於一所高中,我們倆的學校屬於同一個

學區管轄. 聖誕節前夕的一天, 我在小學教學樓的走廊遇到了學區外語教學的負責人Mr. S. Mr. S 戴著一幅金絲邊眼鏡,

眼裏總 是帶著笑意,個子不高, 西裝領帶光亮的皮鞋,一看就是個細致有條理的人.

Mr. S 每周都會群發給學區所有教師一篇令人鼓舞或富有哲理或生活隨感的郵件 . 

彼此照例寒暄預祝節日快樂之後,. Mr. S 遞給我一份禮物, 看上去是一盤DVD和一個鉛筆盒大小的白色的紙盒子, 細細

的金色絲帶係成一個蝴蝶結.我接過禮物, 很是驚喜. Mr. S說:”猜猜看, 是什麽禮物?” 我回答說: “是一盤音樂CD 吧”, Mr. S

笑而不答. 我則再次表示了謝意, 由 於接下來快要上課了,再加上中國人都能理解的靦腆與矜持, 我禮節性地道別之後, 拿

著禮物匆匆轉身回到了教室.

忙碌的一天塵埃落定, 我好奇地打開禮物包裝紙,果然是一盤鋼琴曲, 藍色的封麵, 全是經典之作, 其中有我喜歡的聖桑的

天鵝湖. 另外一個盒子裏有一個紙卷和一個雪白的貝殼躺在一層閃閃發亮的白色絲絨"沙灘"上,  紙卷的質感和貝殼非

常和諧, 打開紙卷, 是一篇字體優美的散 文, 題目是" Making a difference"大致是說一個男人看到一個小

女孩在 海邊 不 停地把海星扔回到海裏, 於是問這麽多海星, 這樣扔是不是於事無補呀?但小女孩 回答說對這個被扔回大

海的海星 而言 ( I made a difference for that one )意義重大. 後來聽說這個貝殼是Mr. S 的太太自己 親手製作的, 簡直太

逼真了! 這是我 收到的最別具匠心而且是DIY的 禮物 了!

禮物看完了, 我突然意識到,按照美國文化,應該當麵打開禮物, 表示謝意的, 不禁為自己的疏忽感到懊惱和遺憾.....

下學後, 回到住處, 我問同屋在高中任教的胡豔是否也收到了禮物, 她點點頭, 我又問:”你當著Mr. S的麵,打開禮物了

嗎?”

她搖搖頭，說 “沒有哎”。

我麵露喜色,頓時感到釋然了。對小豔說：“你瞧,我們雖然早就知道西方文化的做法是當麵打開禮物，但是我們真正遇到

了這種場 合，還是難以自然而然地化作行動啊!"  於是兩個人你一言我一語地聊開去,  很有認同感。


這個跨文化交際的親身實例, 說明了盡管人盡皆知中西不同文化中收禮文化的不同. 西方人習慣於當麵拆封欣賞；而中國人則恰恰相反，認為當麵打開禮物是很不禮貌的. 這種交際中的差異,看似簡單容易處理,但在真正操作的時候, 不是知道就能做到, 所以我們每個人都要充分意識到這種文化差異的存在,切實在思想上得到重視,同時要進行必要的操練, 才能在跨文化交際的實戰中成功克服自己文化根深蒂固的心理障礙, 達到理想的交際效果.

The Story is so beautiful as follows:

One day a man was walking along the seashore. He noticed that during the night many seashells and starfish had washed up on the shore. Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man strolled for miles along the sand.

Far off in the distance, he saw a small figure dancing. The man was joyous that someone was celebrating life in such a grand and uninhibited manner. As he drew closer, however, it became apparent that the figure was not dancing, but repeatedly performing some act.

Approaching the small figure, the man noticed that it was a child. The girl was methodically picking up starfish from the shore and tossing them back into the surf. The man paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked, "Why are you throwing those starfish back into the ocean?"

"If I leave these starfish on the beach," she replied, "the sun will dry them, and they will die. I am throwing them back into the ocean because I want them to live."

The man was thoughtful for a moment, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness. Then he motioned up and down the miles and miles of beach and said, "There must be millions of starfish along here! How can you possibly expect to make a difference?"

The young girl pondered the man's words for a moment, then she slowly leaned over, reached down, and carefully picked up another starfish from the sand. With a gentle effort, she lobbed the starfish back out into the surf.

She turned to the man and smiled. "You may be right," she said, "but I made a difference for that one!"