Punchline (by David Seltzer)

...

I don't hate taxi drivers.

I don't hate anybody.

The world is far too confusing a place to hate anybody.

I don't even hate that clown at the bank who tells me I can't cash my check for 10 days.

Or that jerk at the supermarket.

Or those idiots on the subway.

Or these geniuses who broke up the phone company.

 

Or trendsetters.

I don't hate trendsetters.

People who tell us what is "hot" and what is "not."

[Don't tell me what to do!]

I don't hate them.

I don't hate trendsetters.

[Don't tell me what to do!]

I'm not wearing bellbottoms.

I am not wearing them again!

I don't care if the Prince of Morocco is wearing them.

I know he doesn't have to live here. I do.

I don't hate trendsetters.

 

Or debutantes!

I don't hate debutantes!

I don't hate young, rich, white, female debutantes!

I don't even care about debutantes.

They spend $1,000 on their hair.

So what? They're debutantes.

They're wearing priceless diamond tiaras.

So what? They're debutantes!

They have opinions on world hunger.

Who cares? They're debutantes!

They're having a coming-out party?

They're coming out of a Rolls Royce.

What does this have to do with LIFE as we know it!? **

I don't hate debutantes!

 

I don't hate anybody.

I'm not a hate-monger.

I'm more of a ... hate-stylist, if you will.

 

Thank you very much!

 

* This was from the last performance of Steve the comedian (by Tom Hanks) in the movie "Punchline," which scores unfairly low at IMDb, in my opinion.

** I changed "life" to "LIFE" here to mean the moral and philosophical sides of life.