Choose Strong
For Tim.
Tim told me that he was preparing a speech mimicking part of a dialog from the
movie The Shawshank Redemption which goes like this
"Ellis Boyd Redding, the file says you've served 40 years of a life sentence.
Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?"
"Rehabilitated? Now let me see. I don't know what that means."
"Well, it means you are ready to rejoin society as a ..."
"I know what YOU THINK it means, sonny. To me, that's just a made-up word,
a politician's word so that young fellas like you can wear a suit and a tie
and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?"
"Well. Are you?"
"There is not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm here or
because you think I should. I look back on the way I was, that young, stupid
kid who committed that terrible crime. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to
talk some sense to him and tell him the way things are. But I can't. That
kid's long gone and this old man is all that is left. I've got to live with
that. Rehabilitated? That's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp
your forms sonny and stop wasting my time. Because, to tell you the truth, I
don't give a shit."
We have always loved the last line.
It's the worst of times since I came to the West 20 years ago. Since last year, my
native land, China, and my adopted country, the US, have locked horns and we were
torn inbetween. Recently, amid the pandemic and international protests, the great
power in the Orient has decided it's time to take a step in bringing Hong Kong back
into its tribal fold. On this side of the Pacific, police brutality triggered another round
of nation-wide riots and Mr. Trump just ordered a ban on students from seven
eastern universities, including both my nephew's alma mater and mine. Who knows
what's coming next?
My cousin whose only son is studying in the US told me that he had become a
Buddhist. I congratulated him. He must be under 10 times the stress that I have
felt. He knew about daily Covid-19 cases in America better than I did.
According to Buddhism, one who does not achieve nirvana would have to
reincarnate to suffer another round of life on earth. After one dies, suppose a
deity before sending the soul back to earth ask the question:
"Record shows that you have gone through 10,000 life-cycles. Do you feel
you've finally been enlightened?"
Maybe the answer is not yes or no. Maybe the Buddha is really looking for
something like "Enlightened? Well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't care less."
Someone said a stoic is a buddhist with an attitude problem. He had a point.
