Choose Strong
For Tim.
With many holidaying out of town, driving had become swift
and even pleasant. I could sense some unease in the air,
however, as we headed to the airport this quiet morning.
The kid talked less. This was his second time getting on
an airplane.
My nephew H finished his study and it was time to say
goodbye. He took three courses this term and the GRE test
and passed all with flying colors. It reminded me of my
crazy quest for the graduate entrance exams, exactly 24
years ago. How powerful the artificial hurdles loomed and
yet how powerless they matched against our single-minded
pursuits!
Over the brief months, I greatly enjoyed H's company. A
sensitive youth, he was curious but prudent for his age (less
conceited than I was). He loved to explore details visiting
local attractions and our interests in history, religion,
philosophy, and computer architecture often led to good
discussions.
Inevitably, I tried to pass things onto him. For some, it could
be an acquired taste, but he tried and said he liked my kimchi.
I doubted how much my one-meal-a-day routine impressed
him--there are less mundane artifacts for young people--
but I was glad to see that he started reading Michael Pollan.
Inspite of the holidays and get-togethers, with school over and
most of his roommates gone, H tasted the scary American
freedom in the past couple of weeks. He was imperially free
and alone. One night on our way back to his dorm, he told me
he would like to join some clubs if he were to come back to
the US. I could well understand what he was going through: I
even blogged about this a year ago. Well, now he knew what's
to prepare for.
I tried to impart the Stoic idea of amor fati in different
ways and was glad to give him the coin as a Christmas gift.
I saw this one key inheritance in and worth learning from
the Greco-Roman culture which we entered, from Seneca,
Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius all the way down to the
modern-day manifestations such as Stockdale and Taleb.
As Nietzsche said:
My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati:
that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not
backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is
necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity
in the face of what is necessary—but LOVE it.
As we were driving through the city, I threw out two
probability problems that I recently learnt re-reading
Taleb's book, The Black Swan. They gave us a good
conversation before entering the grey matrix of SFO.
