脫胎換骨的登山遠行--讀 Wild 有感

今年讀的書比任何時候都多, 同時讀幾本.

昨晚睡了6個小時, 不到6點起來, 快走了5邁, 然後看完"Wild-from lost to found on the pacific crest trail" 最後2章.

Cheryl Strayed 在媽媽去世不能走出抑鬱陰影, 繼父再婚不再關心他們, 自己有外遇離婚, 吸毒玩世不恭等經曆後開始她的太平洋登山之旅 (pacific crest trail), PCT全長2650邁, 從墨西哥邊境到加大拿邊境. 她用3個月完成從加洲到渥羅根1100邁的自我發現之旅. 絕大部分旅程她一個人走, 過沙漠爬雪山, 因為沒有長途登山經驗, 登山前期連登山杖也沒買, 行李過重, 登山鞋太小, 3個月登山腳趾甲掉了6個, 很多地方都磨破, 很多時候因為錢不夠還挨餓. 但登山的旅程讓她發現世界上有很多溫情的好人, 獨處野外環境和應付生存的困境讓她從悲傷痛苦中走出, 尤其是活出跟她媽媽不一樣的人生, 她媽媽臨終前跟她說過, 她一輩子都是為別人活, 為人妻為人母, 最大的遺憾就是沒為自己活過 (這樣的話我們在生活中聽很多人說過). 她最終發現了自己的人生目標成為暢銷書作者.

去年讀過"Into the Wild", "the call of the wild" 和 "Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage", 發現自己對野外探險特別感興趣(the call of the wild 講的是狗但人的世界又何不是如此?). 我習慣獨處, 喜歡大自然和小小的冒險, 不喜歡複雜的人際關係, 喜歡天文科幻, 很多人生理念也與國內受的教育不符. 有時我想人生到底有沒有輪回, 如果有, 我的某個前世是不是探過險是不是在國外生活過. 在廣州20來年上海3年心沒定過, 97年西歐5國遊讓我一下子喜歡上西德並盟發了後來移民的念頭, 加拿大的生活讓我有終於到家的感覺.

我也想出去登山幾天, 在野外露營, 我覺得自己適應能力很強, 什麽樣的苦都可以吃, 可惜家裏領導從小和父母camping很多, 現在隻肯住好的酒店. 想加入登山俱樂部, 但想想自己上班時間限製不可能跟團員一起經常活動而放棄, 好象什麽事都要等退休才能幹. 今年我準備有開春後有時間就出去走trail, 把大多地區的都走個遍.

我認為去野外是對身體和心靈的洗禮, 去考驗自己的身體和靈魂, 去欣賞城市裏看不到的大自然, 看星星看月亮, 去讓身體累的爬不起來倒下就可以睡, 啥都不想.......

家長說等我退了就到鄉下買房子過off grid 日子, 他說以現在的科技可以過的非常好, 我說好啊, 能養雞養鴨種菜養花釣魚真好, 但一定要離買咖啡和吃早餐的地方不太遠:)

quotes:

Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.

It had to do with how it felt to be in the wild. With what it was like to walk for miles with no reason other than to witness the accumulation of trees and meadows, mountains and deserts, streams and rocks, rivers and grasses, sunrises and sunsets.

I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I had wanted to find was a way in.

Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.

I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.