隴山隴西郡
寧靜純我心 感得事物人 寫樸實清新. 閑書閑話養閑心,閑筆閑寫記閑人;人生無虞懂珍惜，以沫相濡字字真。
國王亞瑟和圓桌武士加溫: 醜陋的女巫傾城的美女
國王亞瑟被俘，本應被處死刑，但對方國王見他年輕樂觀，十分欣賞，於是就要求亞瑟回答一個十分難的問題，如果答出來就可以得到自由。
這個問題就是：“女人真正想要的是什麽？”
亞瑟開始向身邊的每個人征求答案：公主、牧師、智者……結果沒有一個人能給他滿意的回答。
有人告訴亞瑟，郊外的陰森城堡裏住著一個老女巫，據說她無所不知，但收費高昂，且要求離奇。
期限馬上就到了，亞瑟別無選擇，隻好去找女巫，女巫答應回答他的問題，但條件是，要和亞瑟最高貴的圓桌武士之一，他最親近的朋友加溫結婚。
亞瑟驚駭極了，他看著女巫，駝背、醜陋不堪、隻有一顆牙齒，身上散發著臭水溝難聞的氣味……而加溫高大英俊、誠實善良，是最勇敢的武士。
亞瑟說：“不，我不能為了自由強迫我的朋友娶你這樣的女人！否則我一輩子都不會原諒自己。”
加溫知道這個消息後，對亞瑟說：“我願意娶她，為了你和我們的國家。”
於是婚禮被公諸於世。
女巫回答了這個問題，“女人真正想要的，是主宰自己的命運。”
每個人都知道女巫說出了一條偉大的真理，於是亞瑟自由了。
婚禮上女巫用手抓東西吃、打嗝，說髒話，令所有的人都感到惡心，亞瑟也在極度痛苦中哭泣，加溫卻一如既往的謙和。
新婚之夜，加溫不顧眾人勸阻堅持走進新房，準備麵對一切，然而一個從沒見過麵的絕世美女卻躺在他的床上，女巫說：“我在一天的時間裏，一半是醜陋的女巫，一半是傾城的美女，加溫，你想我白天或是夜晚是哪一麵呢？……”
這是個如此殘酷的問題，如果你是加溫，你會怎樣選擇呢？
……
當時人格心理學的教授話音一落，同學們先是靜默，繼而開始熱烈的討論，答案更是五花八門，不過歸納起來不外乎兩種：白天是女巫，夜晚是美女，因為老婆是自己的，不必愛慕虛榮；另一種選白天是美女，因為可以得到別人羨慕的眼光，而晚上可以在外作樂，回到家一團漆黑，美醜都無所謂。聽了大家的回答，教授沒有發表意見，隻說這故事其實有結局的，加溫做出了選擇。於是大家紛紛要求老師說出結果。
How about you? Your thought? She demands respect and integrity - that's life toward love. You ask for love, but think about if you know what's love - Character counts for guarantee your love, not money, not power. Your love is within yourself, so unique, nobody else can touch, except you, only you.
Here is the answer:
老師說，加溫回答道：“既然你說女人真正想要的是主宰自己的命運，那麽就由你自己決定吧！”女巫終於熱淚盈眶，“我選擇白天夜晚都是美麗的女人，因為我愛你！”
所有人都沉默了，因為沒有一個人做出加溫的選擇。我們有時候是不是很自私？以自己的喜好去主宰別人的生活，卻沒有想過別人是不是願意。而當你尊重別人、理解別人時，得到的往往會更多。
******* Acknowledgment - Sources of Inspiration: Reference "Inspire. Create. Resilience. Serve." **********************
My point? Someone else said: “女人真正想要的是什麽？”
我認為尊重是兩性關係中最基本最重要的要素。 來源: 再見二丁目 於 2015-09-25 14:28:56 [檔案] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀： 7387 次 (1700 bytes) 字體：調大/重置/調小 | 加入書簽 | 打印 | 所有跟帖 | 加跟貼 | 當前最熱討論主題
我在兩性關係中一定要獲得足夠的尊重， 而對對方，我一定要有足夠的尊重才能真正地去愛他。 在我的概念中， 沒有尊重就沒有愛。 我覺得一旦你不尊重甚至開始嫌棄對方， 那麽愛就不存在了。
當年有個朋友， 台灣來的， 嫁了一個美國人。 和他們一起出去吃過一次飯， 那頓晚餐， 讓我隱隱覺得我對他們的婚姻不看好。 理由其實很簡單， 就是這個丈夫在中餐麵前時時刻刻顯示出來的看低和嫌棄的神情。 在文化差異飲食習慣不同這個方麵， 我的要求就是， 你可以不喜歡不適應， 但是要懂得起碼的尊重。 你的愛人是在這樣的文化教育熏陶出來的， TA是吃著中餐長大的。 我自己很難想象， 你愛一個人卻可以同時嫌棄TA的背景，TA的文化。
當然， 飲食， 隻是一個方麵。 尊重應該體現在多方麵。。。尊重對方獨立的人格，思想，尊重對方的情感，尊重對方的空間， 尊重對方做喜歡或者認為重要的事，尊重對方生命中重要的人。。。
我每次聽到妻子嫌棄丈夫能力不夠， 不會賺錢， 或者丈夫嫌棄妻子邋遢， 沒有生活情趣的，或者其他各種嫌棄時， 總是會想， 既然這樣， 為什麽還非要在一起？我的邏輯簡單直接：既然嫌棄， 想必不會尊重， 沒有尊重， 便沒有愛，沒有愛， 就該分開。
我覺得首先有了尊重， 才會互相理解，支持，幫助，才能夠共同成長。有了尊重未必有愛， 可是有愛必然有尊重。
************************ Reference ****************
Historical truth:
Gawain
Gawain (/ɡ??we?n/, [?ɡawain]; also called Gwalchmei, Gualguanus, Gauvain, Walwein, etc.) is King Arthur's nephew and a Knight of the Round Table in the Arthurian legend. Under the name Gwalchmei, he appears very early in the legend's development, being mentioned in some of the earliest Welsh Arthurian sources.
He is one of a select number of Round Table members to be referred to as one of the greatest knights, most notably in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. In some spin-offs, Sir Gawain is the Green Knight. He is almost always portrayed as the son of Arthur's sister Morgause (or Anna) and King Lot of Orkney and Lothian, and his brothers are Agravain, Gaheris, Gareth, and Mordred. He was well known to be the most trustworthy friend of Sir Lancelot.[1] In some works, Sir Gawain has sisters as well. According to some legends, he would have been the true and rightful heir to the throne of Camelot, after the reign of King Arthur.[2][3]
Gawain is often portrayed as a formidable, courteous, and also a compassionate warrior, fiercely loyal to his king and family. He is a friend to young knights, a defender of the poor, and as "the Maidens' Knight", a defender of women as well. In some works, his strength waxes and wanes with the sun; in the most common form of this motif, his might triples by noon, but fades as the sun sets. His knowledge of herbs makes him a great healer,[4] and he is credited with at least three children: Florence, Lovell, and Gingalain, the last of which is also called Libeaus Desconus or Le Bel Inconnu, the Fair Unknown. Gawain appears in English, French and Celtic literature as well as in Italy where he appears in the architecture of the north portal in the cathedral of Modena, constructed in 1184.[5][6]
Name[edit]
Gawain is known by different names and variants in different languages. The character corresponds to the Welsh Gwalchmei ap Gwyar, and is known in Latin as Walwen, Gualguanus, Waluanus, etc.; in French as Gauvain; and in English as Gawain. The later forms are generally assumed to derive from the Welsh Gwalchmei.[7] The element Gwalch means hawk, and is a typical epithet in medieval Welsh poetry.[8] The meaning of mei is uncertain. It has been suggested that it refers to the month of May (Mai in Modern Welsh), rendering "Hawk of May", though scholar Rachel Bromwich considers this unlikely. Kenneth Jackson suggests the name evolved from an early Common Brittonic name *Ualcos Magesos, meaning "Hawk of the Plain".[8]
Not all scholars accept the gwalch derivation. Celticist John Koch suggests the name could be derived from a Brythonic original *Wolcos Magesos, "Wolf/Errant Warrior of the Plain."[9] Others argue that the continental forms do not ultimately derive from Gwalchmei. Medievalist Roger Sherman Loomis suggests a derivation from the epithet Gwallt Avwyn, found in the list of heroes in Culhwch and Olwen, which he translates as "hair like reins" or "bright hair".[10][11] Dutch scholar Lauran Toorians proposes that the Dutch name Walewein (attested in Flanders and Northern France c. 1100) was earliest, suggesting it entered Britain during the large settlement of Flemings in Wales in the early 12th century.[12] However, most scholarship supports a derivation from Gwalchmei, variants of which are well attested in Wales and Brittany. Scholars such as Bromwich, Joseph Loth, and Heinrich Zimmer trace the etymology of the continental versions to a corruption of the Breton form of the name, Walcmoei.[7]
Gwalchmei[edit]Gwalchmei was a traditional hero of Welsh legend whose popularity greatly increased after foreign versions, particularly those derived from Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae, became known in Wales.[13] The early romance Culhwch and Olwen, written in the 11th century and eventually associated with the Mabinogion,[14] ascribes to Gwalchmei the same relationship with Arthur that Gawain is later given: he is Arthur's sister's son and one of his leading warriors.[8] However, he is mentioned only twice in the text; once in the extensive list of Arthur's court towards the beginning of the story, and again as one of the "Six Helpers" who Arthur sends with the protagonist Culhwch on his journey to find his love Olwen.[13] Unlike the other helpers he takes no further part in the action, suggesting he was added to the romance later, likely under the influence of the Welsh versions of Geoffrey's Historia.[13] Still, Gwalchmei was clearly a traditional figure; other early references to him include the Welsh Triads; the Englynion y Beddau (Stanzas of the Graves), which lists the site of his grave; the Trioedd y Meirch (Triads of the Horses), which praises his horse Keincaled (known as Gringolet to later French authors); and Cynddelw's elegy for Owain Gwynedd, which compares Owain's boldness to that of Gwalchmei.[8] In the Welsh Triads, Triad 4 lists him as one of the "Three Well-Endowed Men of the Isle of Britain" (probably referring to his inheritance),[15] while Triads 75 and 91 praise his generosity to guests and his fearlessness, respectively.[16] Some versions of Triads 42 and 46 also praise his horse Keincaled, echoing the Triads of the Horses.[17] A tale recorded by 16th-century century Welsh scholar Sion Dafydd Rhys claims that Gwalchmai destroyed three witches by trickery.[18]
The Gwyar (meaning "gore"[19] or "spilled blood/bloodshed"[20]) in Gwalchmei ap Gwyar is likely the name of Gwalchmei's mother, rather than his father as is the standard in the Welsh Triads.[7]Matronyms were sometimes used in Wales, as in the case of Math fab Mathonwy and Gwydion fab Dôn, and were also fairly common in early Ireland.[7] Gwyar appears as a daughter of Amlawdd Wledig in one version of the hagiographical genealogy Bonedd y Saint. Additionally, the 14th-century Birth of Arthur, a Welsh text adapting scenes from Geoffrey of Monmouth, substitutes Gwyar for "Anna", Geoffrey's name for Gawain's mother.[21] Other sources do not follow this substitution, however, indicating that Gwyar and Anna originated independently.[22]
In Geoffrey of Monmouth and other early literature[edit]A few references to Gawain appear outside Wales in the first half of the 12th century; for instance in his Gesta Regum Anglorum of around 1125, William of Malmesbury writes that "Walwen's" grave had been uncovered in Pembrokeshire during the reign of William the Conqueror; William recounts that Arthur's formidable nephew had been driven from his kingdom by Hengest's brother, though he continued to harry his enemies severely.[23] However, it was Geoffrey of Monmouth's version of Gawain in the Historia Regum Britanniae, written around 1136, that brought the character to a wider audience.[24] As in the Welsh tradition, Geoffrey's Gualguanus is the son of Arthur's sister, here named Anna, and her husband is Lot, the prince of Lothian and one of Arthur's key supporters. Gualguanus is depicted as a superior warrior and potential heir to the throne until he is tragically struck down by his traitorous brother Modred's forces.[25]
Geoffrey's work was hugely popular, and was adapted into many languages. The Norman version by Wace, the Roman de Brut, ascribes to Gawain the chivalric aspect he would take in later literature, wherein he favors courtliness and love over martial valor.[24] Several later works expand on Geoffrey's mention of Gawain's boyhood spent in Rome, the most important of which is the anonymous Medieval Latin romance The Rise of Gawain, Nephew of Arthur, which describes his birth, boyhood and early adventures leading up to his knighting by his uncle.[3]
In French literature[edit]Verse romances[edit]
Beginning with the five works of Chrétien de Troyes, Gawain became a very popular figure in French chivalric romances in the later 12th century. Chrétien uses Gawain as a major character and establishes some characteristics that pervade later depictions, including his unparalleled courteousness and his way with women. His romances set the pattern often followed in later works in which Gawain serves as an ally to the protagonist and a model of knighthood to whom others are compared. However, in Chrétien's later romances, especially Lancelot, the Knight of the Cart and Perceval, the Story of the Grail, the title heroes prove morally superior to Gawain, who follows the rules of courtliness to the letter rather than the spirit.[24]
An influx of romances written in French appeared in Chretien's wake, and in these Gawain was characterized variously. In many of these "Gawain romances", such as Le Chevalier à l'épée and La Vengeance Raguidel, he is the hero; in others he aids the hero; sometimes he is the subject of burlesque humor.[24] In the many variants of the Bel Inconnu or Fair Unknown story, he is the father of the hero.[26]
Prose cycles[edit]In the Vulgate Cycle, he is depicted as a proud and worldly knight who demonstrates through his failures the danger of neglecting the spirit for the futile gifts of the material world. On the Grail quest, his intentions are always the purest, but he is unable to use God's grace to see the error in his ways. Later, when his brothers Agravain and Mordred plot to destroy Lancelot and Guinevere by exposing their love affair, Gawain tries to stop them. When Guinevere is sentenced to burn at the stake and Arthur deploys his best knights to guard the execution, Gawain nobly refuses to take part in the deed even though his brothers will be there. But when Lancelot returns to rescue Guinevere, a battle between Lancelot's and Arthur's knights ensues and Gawain's brothers, except for Mordred, are killed. This turns his friendship with Lancelot into hatred, and his desire for vengeance causes him to draw Arthur into a war with Lancelot in France. In the king's absence, Mordred usurps the throne, and the Britons must return to save Britain. Gawain is mortally wounded in battle against Mordred's armies, and writes to Lancelot apologizing for his actions and asking for him to come to Britain to help defeat Mordred.
Other medieval literatures[edit]German and Dutch[edit]The Middle Dutch Roman van Walewein by Penninc and Pieter Vostaert, and the Middle High German romance Diu Crône by Heinrich von dem Türlin are both dedicated primarily to Gawain, and in Wirnt von Grafenberg's Middle High German Wigalois he is the father of the protagonist.
English and Scottish[edit]For the English and Scots, Gawain remained a respectable and heroic figure. He is the subject of several romances and lyrics in the dialects of those countries. He is the hero of one of the greatest works of Middle English literature, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, where he is portrayed as an excellent, but human, knight. In The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle, his wits, virtue and respect for women frees his wife, a loathly lady, from her curse of ugliness. Other important English Gawain romances include The Awntyrs off Arthure (The Adventures of Arthur) and The Avowyng of Arthur.
These glowing portraits of Gawain all but ended with Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, which is based mainly, but not exclusively, on French works from the Vulgate and Post-Vulgate Cycles. Here Gawain partly retains the negative characteristics attributed to him by the later French, and partly retains his earlier positive representations, creating a character seen by some as inconsistent, and by others as a believably flawed hero. Gawain is cited in Robert Laneham's letter describing the entertainments at Kenilworth in 1575,[27] and the recopying of earlier works such as The Greene Knight suggests that a popular tradition of Gawain continued. The Child Ballads include a preserved legend in the positive light, The Marriage of Sir Gawain a fragmentary version of the story of The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle. He also appears in the rescue of Guinevere and plays a significant role though Lancelot overshadows him. In Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, Guinevere is found guilty, however, Lancelot returns to help Guinevere to escape from the castle. Although, Mordred has sent to word to King Arthur, Arthur sends a few knights to capture Lancelot, and Gawain, being a loyal friend to Lancelot, refuses to take part of the mission. The battle between Lancelot and Arthur's knights results in Gawain's two sons and his brothers, except for Mordred, being slain. This begins the estrangement between Lancelot and Gawain, thus drawing Arthur into a war with Lancelot in France. While King Arthur is deployed to France, Mordred takes control of the throne, and takes advantage of the kingdom. Gawain wages two wars between Mordred and Lancelot. He is mortally wounded in a duel against Lancelot who later lies for two nights weeping at Gawain's tomb. Before his death, Gawain repents of his bitterness towards Lancelot and forgives him, while asking him to join forces with Arthur and save Camelot.[28]
Character[edit]Sir Gawain in particular of all Arthur’s knights is known for his courteousness and compassion. In "Gawain: His Reputation, His Courtesy and His Appearance in Chaucer’s Squire’s Tale," B.J. Whiting collected quantitative evidence of this quality being stronger in Gawain than in any of the other knights of the Round Table. He notes the words “courteous”, “courtesy” and “courteously” being used in reference to Arthur’s nephew 178 times in total, which is greater than the tally for all other knights in Arthurian literature.[6] In many romances, he is depicted as a model for this chivalric attribute.[29] In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, for example, Gawain receives the kisses of Lady Bertilak with discretion, at once not wanting to insult her by refusing her advances and not wanting to betray the hospitality of her husband.[30]
The loves of Sir Gawain[edit]
Scholar M. Gaston Paris draws attention to the phenomenon that, since Gawain is known in multiple tales as “the Maidens’ Knight”, his name is thus attached to no woman in particular. He is the champion of all women, and through this reputation, he has avoided the name pairing seen in tales of Eric and Lancelot (the former being inextricably linked with Enide, the latter with Guinevere). He has, however, been connected to more than one woman in the course of Arthurian literature.[31] In the alliterative Middle-English poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Sir Bertilak’s wife flirts with him. In the aforementioned The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle, he marries the cursed Ragnelle, and in giving her “sovereignty” in the relationship, lifts the spell laid upon her that had given her a hag-like appearance.[32] He is also associated with a vague supernatural figure in various tales. The hero of Le Bel Inconnu is the progeny of Gawain and a fairy called Blancemal, and in the Marvels of Rigomer, Gawain is rescued by the fay, Lorie.[29][33] In the German tale, Wizalois, the mother of his son is known as Florie, who is likely another version of the Lorie of Rigomer. In her earliest incarnations, Gawain’s love is either the princess or queen of the Other-world.[34]
As with many of the Arthurian romances and poems, there is a strong undertone of homoeroticism to many representations of the Gawain character. In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the sexual advances of Lady Bertilak allude to a potential sodomitical relationship with Sir Bertilak. Based on the bargain to give each other their respective daily gains, Gawain must give the kisses he receives from Lady Bertilak to Sir Bertilak. This allusion serves to reinforce chivalric ideals of religious, martial and courtly love codes, especially in masculine warrior culture, and shows the ways in which the masculine world can be subverted by female wiles. “[35] This possibility of sex between Gawain and Bertilak underscores the strength of male homosocial bonds, and the fact that sex never occurs reinforces ideals of the masculine chivalric code. [36]
Gawain features frequently in modern literature and media. Modern English depictions are heavily influenced by Malory, though characterizations of Gawain are inconsistent. Alfred Tennyson adapts episodes from Malory to present Gawain as a worldly and faithless knight in his Idylls of the King.[37][38][39] Similarly, T. H. White's novel The Once and Future King follows Malory, but presents Gawain as more churlish than Malory's torn and tragic portrayal.[40] In contrast, Thomas Berger's Arthur Rex portrays Gawaine as open-minded and introspective about his flaws, qualities that make him the Round Table's greatest knight.[41] Though he usually plays a supporting role, some works feature Gawain as the main character. Vera Chapman's The Green Knight and Anne Crompton's Gawain and Lady Green offer modern retellings of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.[42] Gwalchmai is the protagonist in Gillian Bradshaw's Celtic-tinged Hawk of May and its sequels.[43] An aged Gawain is one of the central characters in Kazuo Ishiguro's novel The Buried Giant.[44]
Film portrayals of Gawain, and the Arthurian legend in general, are heavily indebted to Malory; White's The Once and Future King also exerts a heavy influence. Gawain appears as a supporting character in films such as Knights of the Round Table (1953), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) and Excalibur (1981), all of which draw on elements of his traditional characterizations.[45] Other films give Gawain a larger role. In the 1954 adaptation of Prince Valiant, he is a somewhat boorish, though noble and good-natured, foil for his squire and friend, Valiant.[46] He plays his traditional part in the 1963 film Sword of Lancelot, seeking revenge when Lancelot kills his unarmed brother Gareth, but ultimately coming to Lancelot's aid when he uncovers Mordred's responsibility.[47]Sir Gawain and the Green Knight has been adapted several times, including 1973's Gawain and the Green Knight and 1984's Sword of the Valiant, both directed by Stephen Weeks. Neither film was well reviewed and both deviate substantially from the source material.[48] A 1991 television adaptation by Thames Television, Gawain and the Green Knight, was both more faithful and better received.[49]
The character has appeared in a number of stage productions and operas, mostly interpretations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Particularly notable among them is the 1991 opera Gawain with music by Harrison Birtwistle and a libretto by David Harsent.[50]
http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-847277-923754.html 此文來自科學網李勝文博客，轉載請注明出處。
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