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用心記下走過的路，用愛關懷周圍的人。
文章轉載自yeeyan.org
Posted by Futureglory
如何做到死而無憾
在最近一集《歐普拉生活課堂》中聽到一句話“你要為自己的人生負責。”簡單的陳述背後是真相和大智慧。我們當中大部分人或許嘴上都同意：該對自己的人生負責。可是，仔細審查，就會發現，很少有人真的對自己的生活方式負起責任。我們本意很好——想要活得更健康，更幸福——可是，很少有人付諸行動。
元月份，我們通常會製定新年計劃：“我要減輕體重10磅，”“我要戒煙，”“我要吃得更健康，”“我要去健身房。”可是，要不了2星期，我們就會回到老路上來。原因何在？容易啊！一行禪師說得很好：“人們很難放手讓痛苦離去。源於對不確定性的恐懼，人們寧願守著熟悉的痛苦不放。”
很多情況下，我們一如既往過著一成不變的日子，是因為舊的生活模式太熟悉了，因為我們害怕改變。我們不斷地把人生目標推遲到“明天”。等再多賺一點錢，等孩子們長大後離開家，或者，“等我有時間再來做吧。” 這是邪惡的陷阱，導致人生苦不堪言。我確信，這種思維模式會讓你帶著無盡的遺憾進入墳墓。你會後悔沒有堅持自己的夢想；後悔總是先人後己，滿足別人的願望。
正如維恩·戴爾所言：“千萬別等到死亡來臨，心中的音樂依然沒有唱響。”
最近，一篇由臨終關懷護士寫的文章披露了她病人臨終前表達的5大憾事。
1.真希望自己有勇氣過自己想要的生活，而不是別人所期望的那樣。
2.要是工作不那麽賣命就好了。
3.要是有勇氣表達內心的想法就好了。
4.要是一直跟朋友保持聯係該有多好啊。
5.要是讓自己更幸福該有多好啊。
這些話很耳熟吧？
我敢打賭，很多人心髒病突發，在最後時刻來臨時會想：“要是早聽醫生的話去健身房那該多好啊。”或者“每天早上花點時間為自己做份健康早餐是值得的。”
今天我要問：你的人生值麽？你的幸福值麽？你的健康呢？
如果答案是肯定的，那麽，你得開始為人生負起責任來了。別再為現狀怨天尤人了。別再找理由說什麽自己破產了，分文沒有，沒法照顧自己。你的人生值得你花錢去買張健身卡，或者去預約理療師。我過去服用抗抑鬱症藥時，花錢治療，請物理理療師理療，上瑜伽課，還購買各種健康服務，以致於債台高築。可是，你知道麽？債務讓我不再依賴抗抑鬱症藥；讓我更幸福，更自信。因為自信，我獲得了一份好工作，最終還清了信用卡債務。
別再找借口，開始認真地生活吧，這是你欠自己的。
艾爾伯特·艾裏斯曾經說過：
“你人生中最好的年華就是，當你決定自己的問題是自己的，當你不再埋怨媽媽、生態、或者總統；當你意識到，命運掌握在自己手中。”
在《歐普拉生活課堂》裏，她跟我們分享道：我們對帶進房間的能量負責。開始關注你的能量如何影響身邊人的吧。有沒有什麽人際關係讓你被受責備呢？捫心自問：你自己是否有責任？
即便飽受病魔的摧殘，或者遭遇人生變故——你還是得為自己的想法和反應負責。對人生中的任何事都善於利用——就連悲劇也要好好開發。
你把什麽事推遲到“明天”？是從現在開始為30年後的退休生活分分錢必攢，而放棄歐洲夢幻之旅？還是因為當前經濟不景氣，就勸自己隨遇而安，將就打一份工？或者確信自己年紀不小了，找不到靈魂伴侶而隨便開始一段感情呢？
得了吧。趕緊停下來！就現在！
行動起來，為自己的人生負起責任吧！別人才不管你呢。當你離開地球時，是願意帶著無盡的遺憾呢？還是內心的寧靜？
由你選定！
謝莉爾·理查森言之有理：
“你不是你父母，不是曆史，不是文化影響。你是獨一無二的。要勇敢，無懼，挑戰傳統。樂意用自己的聲音為靈魂說話。繼續下去。用力搖晃，你激起的浪花或許能改變世界······”
How To Die Without Regrets
There is immense truth and wisdom behind a simple statement that I came across in a recent episode of Oprah's Lifeclass: "You are responsible for your life." On the surface, most of us would probably agree that we're responsible for our lives. But when you take a closer look, it becomes obvious that very few of us are actually taking responsibility for the way that we live. We have good intentions - we want to live healthier, happier lives - but these intentions rarely manifest.
In January we typically set resolutions: "I'm going to lose 10 pounds," "I'm going to quit smoking," "I'm going to eat healthier," "I'm going to go to the gym." And then around 2 weeks later we find ourselves stuck in our old routines. Why? Because it's easier. Thich Nhat Hanh put it perfectly when he said, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
In many cases we stay stuck in our old patterns because they are familiar to us and because we're afraid of change. We continually put our goals off until "tomorrow." Until we make more money or the kids leave home or the ever-popular "I'll get to it when I have more time." This is a vicious trap that leads to a deeply unsatisfying life. I promise that this line of thinking will send you to your grave with immense regrets. Regret that you didn't follow your dream. Regret that you always put everyone else's needs before your own.
As Wayne Dyer says, "Don't die with your music still in you."
A recent article by a palliative care nurse revealed the top five regrets that her patients expressed before they died:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I didn’t work so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Do any of these sound familiar?
I bet that in their final moments, many people who have died of a heart attack thought to themselves, "I wish I'd taken my doctor seriously and gone to the gym" or "It really would have been worth the extra time to make myself a healthy breakfast every morning."
Today I'm asking you this: Is your life worth it? Is your happiness worth it? Is your well-being worth it?
If the answer is yes, then you need to start taking responsibility for your life. Stop blaming other people for your current situation. Stop saying that you can't take care of yourself because you're broke. Your life is worth the cost of a gym membership or a therapy session or a naturopath appointment. When I was on antidepressants, I went into debt by spending money on therapy, naturopathy, yoga classes and a host of other wellness services. But guess what? That debt got me off antidepressants. It also made me a happier and more confident person, which helped me land a great job and eventually pay off my credit card.
You owe it to yourself to stop making excuses and start living life like you mean it.
Albert Ellis once said:
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
In her Lifeclass, Oprah shared that we are also responsible for the energy that we bring into a room. Start paying attention to how your energy is affecting those around you. Is there a specific relationship that's ticking you off? Get honest with yourself about how you might be contributing to the situation.
Even if you're suffering from a serious health condition or are recovering from a traumatic event - you are responsible for how you perceive and react to these situations. It's up to you to make the best of everything that you encounter in life - even tragedy.
What are you putting off until "tomorrow?" Are you pinching pennies to save for your retirement 30 years from now, instead of taking your dream trip to Europe? Are you convincing yourself that it's ok to stay at a substandard job because the economy is bad right now? Are you settling for an unsatisfying relationship because you've convinced yourself that you're too old to find your soulmate?
Stop it. Right now.
Get up off your butt and take responsibility for your life. No one else is going to do it for you. When you leave this earth, would you rather feel immense regret or a deep sense of inner peace?
It's your choice.
Cheryl Richardson put it perfectly:
"You are not your mother, your father, your history, or your cultural influences. You are uniquely and originally you. Be bold and daring and fearless and unconventional. Be willing to use your voice in service to your soul. Go on. Rock that damn boat. The wave you create might just change the world..."
