粉紅鼠的世界
Proud mama of 3, the little sweet pea is on her way~
很久沒有來了, 因為小田鼠讓我和老公整天手忙頭暈, 還有就是我忘了login password….. 沒想到有天早上醒來, 突然腦子跳出1些數字, bingo! 竟然又讓我想起來, 哈哈哈…. 還有新來的 nanny很有經驗和小田鼠相處的很好, 所以我終於有時間坐下來, 記錄那些難忘的事情！
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從Santorini慶祝結婚3周年回來, 我就開始準備1個自己的新挑戰----到學校修writing! 沒想到不久就驚喜發現小田鼠已經偷偷鑽進我的肚子啦~
Guess GOD has a wicked sense of humour, 當時我就像在空中, 1邊是對自己的新挑戰, 1邊是等待中的小孩, 誰更重要? 我想了很久,覺的2邊都重要, 因為人生不能為了小孩而失去自己的夢想, 但也不能為了夢想放棄生命的傳遞, 怎樣去balance就是1種生活的藝術. 我喜歡挑戰, 喜歡在各種不同的經曆中成長, 感受生命存在的意義....
The first sign of pregnancy for me was extreme tiredness, all I wanted to do was sleep, sleep, and sleep. My skin started to break out like never before. I also started to feel a difference in my lower abdomen while doing regular exercises I'd normally do, I was sweating at the gym a lot more and getting really hot at night while I was sleeping. I didn't think I'd see changes as fast as I did but I was very in tune with my body ……
I’m used to eating clean, dance twice and working out 5 days a week, suddenly, I can't eat my favorite food--- salad, sushi & sashimi, and I don't like red meat at all, so I was struggling to find yummy protein foods. My BMI was underweight--110 lbs and 5'7, that’s pretty skinny and scary! so I got myself to eat pasta, piazza, grilled fish, beef & cheese etc. everything I’m not used to eating has been a challenge but I did it all in moderation cuz it’s for the good of my baby.
According to my dermatologist that our body absorbs 65% of what we put in it....... so I went to whole foods and bought all new organic products----shampoo, condition, showergel, lotion, tooth paste, perfume etc. Makeup--- I switched to Inika a brand from Australia, all products are Vegan and certified cruelty Free, I went completely natural and I love it~
不管小田鼠能不能聽到, 我每天都會輕聲的告訴他---媽媽在做什麽, 爸爸在做什麽, 今天的天氣怎樣, 媽媽看到怎樣的風景. 希望小田鼠通過我的聲音跟外麵的世界連接. 雖然老公有時在旁邊會聽的大笑, 因為他覺的這樣超搞笑, 但我覺的他真的不懂這種bonding between mama & son.
當我在library看書或寫assignment, 不能跟小田鼠講話的時候, 我就會帶headset listen classical music w/ a soothing harmony and below 55 decibels, 這樣2個人都能保持輕鬆的心情. 曾經看到有些媽媽把headset直接放在肚子, 我就做了study---according to some experts that amniotic fluid amplifies music while others claim the amplification only happens with low tones like that bass line that drives a song, the distance between mama’s belly and the fetus is not very wide so the headphones are propped right up against the baby’s ears, the safest way to play music for the fetus is up in the air.
14周, I went to A Pea in a Pod maternity store bought some stretch marks prevention lotions and oils for my boobs and belly, 太早用也許會miscarriage. 我也重新開始 regular manicures & pedicures,但是我都是帶自己買的nail polish w/ less harsh chemicals. 因為美麗的裝扮會讓人感覺快樂, 好心情的媽媽就有快樂的寶寶.
我的OB Dr. 說懷孕其實是很自然簡單的事, 隻要放鬆保持快樂的心情就可以了, 因為健康的寶寶其實很曆害的, 會緊跟著媽媽的生活節拍, 最可怕就是pig out and do nothing.
According to him that a good pregnancy workout can ease back pain and other discomforts and boost mama’s mood and energy levels, help increase circulation, stay in shape, help sleep better, prevent excess weight gain, Increase stamina and muscle strength and prepare for labor and delivery, reduce the risk of gestational diabetes and pregnancy-related high blood pressure as well as lessen the symptoms of postpartum depression etc.
20周, I hired a personal trainer Kelly who is certified to train pregnant woman, 因為白天我要上課, 所以7pm Kelly就會到家裏教我做---a combo of Pilates, yoga and barre, 每周2次, 每次60mins. 遊泳是我最喜歡的運動, 因為冬天家裏的pool不能用, 所以我就和老公到gym, 每周遊2次. 每晚睡覺前, 我就會彈琴幾分鍾告訴小田鼠睡覺時間到啦! 周6就去跳舞, 但不是我以前去的dance studio, 而是prenatal dance class, 在那裏認識了很多快要當媽媽的朋友.
我為什麽要白天上課, 晚上又是運動又是彈琴又是跳舞, 讓自已那麽忙? 因為我不要讓白天緊張的課程造成自己內心的壓力, 運動彈琴跳舞唱歌會及時的轉移我的excitation foci, 讓我全身放鬆, 達到身體心理平恒, 這是我在治療PTSD時學到的1種自我保護和心理調整方法.
32周, 我慢慢減少運動量和老公開始參加1些prenatal classes, 老公最不喜歡Breastfeeding class, 因為那天隻有2個爸爸參加讓他有點不自然, 全程就是watching videos (completely non-sexy) of topless women w/ children hanging from their boobs, and then at the end came the “participation”, everyone in the class was handed a doll…..Everyone!!! LMAO…..
最喜歡的是“Infant and child CPR class”. As parents, we must know how to handle a life threatening emergency if our child is choking or isn't moving/breathing cuz of a fall or a near drowning, etc. We need to learn accident prevention and childproofing measures, the techniques are different for babies and older children, so it’s better to learn both.
大家跟著a certified instructor在自己或partner胸口練習CPR, 直到完全了解這種急救法. 將來如果真的遇到這種emergency, 我們就不用打完911哭著等ambulance, 因為時間就是生命!
X’mas前1周, 學校終於結束啦!!! 過完節, 我就開始準備Maternity shoot, 約喜歡的photographer, 買Greek goodness style dress, 因為從Santorini回來後才發現小田鼠, 所以Greece絕對是我的幸運地! 看到照片後, 發現懷孕女生真的超美, 用老公的話說 “ u’re glowing like sunshine ”, 哈哈哈….
接著就是my besties threw me a baby shower, 收到大家滿滿的祝福和禮物, 超感動!
Due day 是Feb. 12, 可是媽媽Jan.20就飛過來幫忙, 婆婆在due day 前1周也飛來了. 爸爸因為工作太忙, 直到前2天才飛到.
終於到了最後1周, 小田鼠可能在準備搬家, 經常跑來跑去, 讓我睡不好. 有天深夜, 小田鼠又開始半夜跑步, 我睡不著就偷偷下樓, 看那個已經看很多次的birth video. 邊看邊練習呼吸, 沒想到越練習我就越緊張, 做1半就忍不住大哭….
因為我和老公很早就討論過Birth Plan. 曾經有想過water birth, research後取消了, 雖然媽媽會比較不痛但會讓小孩cerebral anoxia, 因為水和Amniotic fluid是不同成分, infant不能在水中呼吸. 所以我就選了all natural birth plan which mean no pain relief, no inducing drugs etc.
我曾經很自信的想如果動物媽媽能做到, 為什麽人就不行? 還有在非洲的時候, 我曾經幫難產的牛媽媽接生, 當時也沒有害怕的感覺. 但是這次換成自己, 心情就變的很不1樣, 感覺超緊張, 不知道是不是pregnancy hormones? 看著早就準備好的 hospital bag, 突然感覺好象除了我, 所有的人都已經ready, 而我卻不知道我的水什麽時候破?
不久, 老公也醒來跑下樓. 他坐在旁邊, 握著我的手, 靜靜的聽我哭. 最後我哭累了, 腦子空白在發呆, 他就抱著我, 邊拍著我的背邊輕輕的唱lullaby, 不知道過了多久, 最後我竟然很舒服的睡著了…..
小田鼠, 媽媽把這個寫出來, 隻是想讓你知道其實媽媽也沒有你想像的勇敢, 但是媽媽最大的優點就是能夠說出自己真實的心情. 也許你覺的媽媽很傻, 不會隱藏弱點. 其實這不重要, 最重要的是你1 定要記住----the only person u need to beat and conquer on earth is yourself!
將來遇到怎樣的問題都不要逃, 因為他不會消失反會越堆越多, do not judge yourself through someone else’s eyes, cuz it’s your own life. 當你勇敢的說出內心的緊張和害怕, 你就不會再被緊張和害怕包圍, 因為你已經戰勝了內心的軟弱和表麵的FACE, 可以很平靜的麵對真實的自己!
所以媽媽希望你將來不要把事情放在心裏. 記住媽媽的motto---“I’d rather be honest than impressive”. 媽媽和爸爸永遠都是你最好的朋友, 我們會耐心的聽, 理解你的想法, 尊重你的選擇.
3:48 am, Feb. 13, 2014, 小田鼠安全出生, weight 6lbs 8oz. 從開始痛到結束, 全程7hrs, 過程too rough就不講了. 隻是感覺時間走超慢, 我痛到都想直接死掉, 好幾次都想要pain relief但最後還是沒有要, 因為我就是想要真實經曆成為媽媽的那種無法忍受的痛苦但是驕傲滿滿的感覺, 因為這就是新生命的意義! 所以我不停的對自己說 “soon I will meet my son, soon I will be a mom, I need to be strong, hang in there…..” 同時也很清楚的告訴自己, 下次絕對要用pain relief, 因為我不要再經曆那種痛苦啦....
再次見到媽媽和婆婆,我心情很激動, 伸手拉住婆婆的手說 “mom, thank u for raising an amazing man that I’m proud to call my husband ” 再伸手握住媽媽的手說 “I love u, mommy!” 媽媽們聽了馬上就很有感覺的流淚, 我想隻有媽媽才能真正的理解“媽媽”這2個字的意義!
After 9 months of waiting, I finally met my son. I hugged and kissed him while tears of joy filled my smiling face. Thank God for allowing me to experience the most meaningful moment of my life and giving me the opportunity to love and be loved. My beautiful boy, I want to be the best mom I can be and embrace u with all my love, thank u so much for choosing me…...
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咱們的媽媽怎麽樣了？ 好久沒有新文， 可能又忘了password 啦。。。