When the going gets tough....
How do you handle it? How do you manage the pressure to perform-not to just get by, but to perform with excellence?
The vast majority of clients with whom I work come to see me because there's a discrepancy between how they do in practice and how they function during an actual performance. "I know my material, but when I start to speak, I freeze." "My thoughts start racing; I can't focus." "When I'm just shooting hoops, I'm fine; when we're in a game, I get afraid I'll mess up, so I pass the ball as quick as I can."
That last comment comes from a teenager, Ted (not his real name, of course), who I saw just before the Winter Olympics began. I could have given him lots of suggestions-and I did. Yet it's more important for him to figure out what works best for him.
So I set him a task, a project. There's a great international experiment unfolding before his eyes right now-the very same Olympics. Every Olympic competitor faces pressure, extraordinary pressure.
They've been practicing and fine-tuning their physical skills-for years. To have reached this pinnacle, they've also practiced and fine-tuned their mental skills. And of course the physical and mental skills interact all the time, even when we don't have good language to describe this seamless and continuous interaction between mind and body.
These athletes have figured out what works best for them, in order to manage, control, and deal with pressure. They have become skilled at not just managing, but also "coping up" with pressure, to use the inimitable phrase of a physician friend for whom English was a third language. They know the pressure will be there, and when they meet it, they incorporate it into their being.
Bill Marolt, chief executive of the United States Ski and Snowboard Association, commented recently, "The Olympics is about pressure. We aspire to use that pressure as motivation."
Here's the project that I set for Ted. Have a piece of paper handy when you're watching the Olympics and create three columns: the sport, the athlete's name, and what they say about how they manage pressure.
How will we know the ways that they "cope up"? We can be sure that the media is going to ask them.
We're all curious. We want to know The Answer, The One Secret. So the coping question is perhaps the one that the media asks most frequently.
In reality, different people cope up differently. Ted's job is to gather information. I suggested to him:
"You'll have excellent performers, and you'll be able to find out what their particular secrets are."
"And when you have this long list, you'll have lots of possibilities that you can try for yourself. You'll be able to see which methods fit you best."
One of the first ways to handle pressure, certainly, is to move from an antagonistic state-"It's going to ‘get' me"-to one of neutrality or curiosity-"What can I learn?" It decreases the threat and increases the potential for actually being able to cope. That is what I encouraged Ted to do.
I decided to make it a mutual challenge. I agreed to keep track, as well. Then I expanded the field and invited a group of colleagues with whom I consult to do the same.
We'll compile quite a list, I'm sure.
