思想的遠行
我的隨筆
有一次讀到一篇文字很美的文章，讓我知道有另一個地方要看，另一本書要讀。
這個地方就在倫敦中國城旁邊的查令街上（Charing Cross）。從前沒有網上書店或者像“水石”這樣的超級書店之前，這裏有很多小書店，應當是非常倫敦的地方。這本書叫做《查令十字街84號》（84 Charing Cross Road），後來被拍成了電影，作者是海蓮漢芙(Helene Hanff)。
書是以書信的形式寫在紐約的海蓮和這條街上馬克絲書店店員弗郎克和其他一些人的交往。海蓮比較清貧，由於工作和對英國文學的熱愛，需要很多英國書，有些書在紐約也不能買到，於是和弗郎克的這家舊書店結下了不解之緣。後來即使能在紐約買到，她也完全依賴弗郎克。交往了20年，由於沒有足夠的路費和其它種種原因，竟沒有見過麵，有一天弗郎克忽然逝去：
“全書隻有幾萬字，一忽兒就讀完了。當我讀到海蓮最後一封信的最後一句話時， 心為之一緊：‘你們若恰好路經查令十字街84號，請代我獻上一吻，我虧欠她良多……’”
我不知道寫這篇文章的是誰，隻是讀了這句話我的心也隨之一緊，想起自己經常光顧的那個在大英圖書館對過的小店。兩鎊一本，有很多我喜歡的書。覺得太便宜了，經常怕它關門。
去網上查，竟又查到一篇精美的文章：“如果你愛書，喜歡手指摩挲書頁的踏實溫暖的感覺和隱隱的油墨的清香，如果你喜歡在陌生的城市獨自憑吊古老的街巷，細心聆聽逝去歲月空洞的回響，如果你懂得欣賞和享受‘花落如雨，人淡如菊’般溫婉散淡的友誼、並不激烈的愛情……如果，如果在適當的條件下你是個有些懷舊的人，比如合適的溫度和濕度，像現在我的窗外響著寂寞的雨聲，或者午後慵懶的太陽透過碎花的簾子照進來，比如剛剛放下一本讓你會心的書，在音樂中休息一下眼睛，書中的某一段話不禁讓你生出‘於我心有戚戚焉’的感歎，比如你剛剛告別二三知友踏著月色 歸來，口裏仍有陳年老酒微熏的餘香，那麽你一定會喜歡這部電影。把這張碟放進你的碟機，會有一種久違的熟悉而陌生的情感，像那淡淡的書香，透過柔和的影像絲絲縷縷地飄散過來，將你幸福而溫柔地淹沒。
依稀記得在哪裏看過關於這個女作家和她這本自傳的介紹，我也懶得去翻檢查找了，它們並不重要。每個愛書、愛這電影的人，一定會和我一樣，像一條熏醉的魚兒深陷入這老式的電影、老式的情感和老式的細節裏不能自拔：因為對英國文學的愛，固執地渴望進入又不敢接近那個美麗的島國，隻有在羊皮麵的書籍裏，在想象和敘述中無限接近‘英國文學中的英國’，那是莎士比亞的英國，有喬叟的故事，有哈代的田野，也有狄更斯式的陰濕街道和光線昏暗的書店；永遠不記得整理房間、化妝打扮的女人，卻會在 口袋裏裝上漂洋過海而來的伊麗莎白一世時期鑲金邊的情詩集，去中央公園陽光下的草坪，享受屬於愛情的美麗春日。安妮·班克羅夫特演的這個幽默可愛的女書蟲和安東尼·霍普金斯扮演的外表冷漠內心細膩、善良溫厚的書店經理，在這個夜晚，就這樣深深地留在我的心裏。
電影非常地英國，卻不是那個古板的英國，而是溫暖的、幽默的英國。戰後英國的冬天盡管物質缺乏，天氣寒冷，人們仍執拗地樂觀，有秩序，溫文有禮，鄉間陽光燦爛，綠意盈盈。”
我從中國城出來，尋找查令街84號的這個馬克絲書店（The Marks & Co ），卻遍尋不著。最後在一個飯店的牆上，看到一個不太清楚的牌子，上麵寫著：查令街十字街84號，馬克絲書店故址，由於海蓮漢芙的書而馳名於世。
我把海蓮最後一封寫給朋友凱瑟琳的信譯到這裏：
親愛的凱瑟琳，
我在清潔我的書架，所以地毯上到處都堆著書。這會兒，我正偷閑坐在這些書的中間給你寫幾句話，祝你和布來安去倫敦一路平安。他那天電話裏對我說：“要是你有票的話，會和我們一起去嗎？” 讓我幾乎落淚。
可是我不知道，也許永遠不會了。很多年倫敦都縈繞在我的夢裏。我以前去看英國電影就是要看看那些街道。我記得很久以前一個人對我說，去英國的人都會發現他們要找的地方絲毫不差地就在那。我說我要找的是文學英國，他點頭說：是在那啊！
也許在，也許不在。看著地毯上的這些書，我知道，它們在這兒！
賣我這些書的那個人，上帝保佑，前幾個月死了。書店的老板馬克絲也死了，但是那個書店還在。你們若恰好路經查令十字街84號，請代我獻上一吻，我虧欠她良多……
白大偉，2006年8月
附一：Helen的最後一封信，寫給朋友Katherine
Dear Katherine, I take time out from housecleaning my bookshelves and sitting on the rug surrounded by books in every direction to scrawl you a Bon Voyage. I hope you and Brian have a ball in London. He said to me on the phone: 'Would you go with us if you had the fare?' and I nearly wept.
But I don't know, maybe it's just as well I never got there. I dreamed about it for so many years. I used to go to English movies just to look at the streets. I remember years ago a guy I knew told me that people going to England find exactly what they go looking for. I said I'd go looking for the England of English literature, and he nodded and said: 'It's there.' Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. Looking around the rug one thing's for sure: it's here.
The Blessed man who sold me all my books died a few months ago. And Mr Marks who owned the shop is dead. But Marks & Co is still there. If you happen to pass by 84 Charing Cross Road, kiss it for me! I owe it so much.
Page 112:
All my life I've wanted to see London. I used to go to English movies just to look at streets with houses like thouse. Staring at the screen in a deark theatre, I wanted to walk down those streets so badly it gnawed at me like hunger. Sometimes, at home in the evening, reading a casual description of London by Hazlitt or Leigh Hunt, I'd put the book down suddenly, engulfed by a wave of longing that was like homesickness. I wanted to see London the way old people want to see home before they die.”
Page 113:
After the interview the three of us and a photographer piled into a cab, and Carmen said to the driver: 'Eight-four Charing Cross Road'.
I felt unreal, knowing I was on my way to that address. I'd bought books from 84 Charing Cross Road for twenty years. I'd made friends there whom I never met. Most of the books I bought from Marks & Co. were probably available in New York. For years, friends had advised me to 'try O'Malley's', 'try Dauber & Pine'. I'd never done it. I'd wanted a link with London and I'd managed it.
Charing Cross Road is a narrow, honky-tonk street, choked with traffic, lined with second-hand book shops. The open stalls in front were piled with old books and magazines, here and there a peaceful soul was browing in the misty rain.
I started back downstairs, my mind on the man, now dead, with whom I'd corresponded for some many years. Halfway down I put my hand on the oak railing, and said to him silently: 'How about this, Frankie? I finally made it.'
Yeah, actually the place in both movies (84 Charing Cross and Harry Potter) are quite similar and evoke similar feelings of things (and times) past. The little bookshop could well be the Flourish and Blotts magical book store!