每當想到我的小寶貝兒時，腦海裏就是那張帥氣真誠溫暖含蓄快樂的笑臉，這會觸動媽媽心裏最柔軟的部分，讓整個心都化了，臉上會不自覺地漾起幸福的微笑。
媽媽曆來自詡是個公平的母親，對兩個兒子的愛是相同的，對任何一個都不多一分，也不少一分。哥哥二十歲的時候媽媽寫了一篇中英雙語的文章外加一個視頻送給哥哥作為生日禮物，對我小兒子當然也要一視同仁嘍。
媽媽對自己胡編亂寫能力的自信以及嚴重的拖延症造成遲遲沒有動筆。幾次歪歪扭扭，別別扭扭開了個頭兒都不滿意。直到離小寶貝兒生日還有兩周時，媽媽慌了：難道我黔驢技窮啦？我怎麽寫不出東西來了？看了給哥哥寫的：那感情之真摯，筆觸之溫馨，文字之優美更讓媽媽汗顏，怎麽辦呢？本想給自己找個借口說21歲才是大生日好拖一年，但是沒能說服自己，因為那樣不公平。不是別的任何原因，隻是因為你太好，太完美，媽媽無從下筆。看了哥哥的視頻倒是給了媽媽一個啟示：我還是從照片開始下手吧。
照片我看了整整兩個晚上，但隻是我們所有照片的冰山一角，我一張張細細地看，回味著當時那一幕幕的溫馨，那都是多美好的時刻呀？你和哥哥的笑容都是那麽燦爛，那麽無憂無慮，那麽陽光帥氣。媽媽的眼眶慢慢濕潤，照片勾起的回憶把這20年慢慢拚在一起，一點點兒變得越來越清晰，一下子就回到了你出生的一刻。
你一生下來就是個漂亮的小嬰兒，臉型清俊，鼻子高挺，隻是比哥哥出生時小了兩磅多（當然哥哥是個大嬰孩），看著小的讓媽媽心疼。出生時因為媽媽發燒，奶水不夠，你不管吃沒吃飽都安安靜靜地呆著，最多哼唧幾聲，從來不大哭大鬧，現在想起來你那時省心得讓人心痛，到現在媽媽都會感到愧疚和不忍。
一點點長大了，有個在你剛出生時嫌你醜但是愛你而且善良耐心好脾氣的好哥哥真是你的福氣。哥哥會坐在床上，把你的頭放在他的腿上，幫著媽媽拍著你哄你，逗著你玩兒。
再大一點兒，你那活波快樂的天性就顯示出來，房間裏都是你銀鈴般（媽媽經常說是鴨子般）的笑聲，那從心裏往外的快樂都在那笑聲裏，充滿整個房間，從窗戶從門縫兒溢了出去，把周圍所有人都感染了，都知道我們家有個又好看又快樂的小天使。
你早早學會了說話，聲調又高又好聽，吐字清晰得猶如大珠小珠落玉盤，好一個小百靈鳥，伴著的是伶牙俐齒。兩歲多就敢挑釁哥哥，哥哥雖然很聰明，但是安靜話不多，根本不可能吵得過你。通常哥哥都不理你，惹急了就一巴掌。五歲的孩子哪裏有輕重呀。尤其哥哥生下來就九磅四，一直人高馬大，又比你大三歲，所以會時不時聽到你嚎啕大哭著來告狀。媽媽問你為什麽哥哥不打別人打你時，你這個小機靈鬼兒會選擇逃避問題而一味地哭著試圖引起同情憐憫，嘴裏隻不停重複說哥哥mean。後來發現媽媽隻會跟哥哥講道理打人不對和讓著弟弟，但並不會懲罰哥哥之後，你也學乖了：盡量少挑釁哥哥；或者有大人在場的時候快速挑釁快速躲到大人身後。
又長大點兒運動天分就顯示出來，協調靈活，打籃球和踢足球都是前鋒位置。啟動速度快，跑起來猶如小猛虎下山，又如那餓急了的小豹子看到了獵物。尤其那時留了一頭飄逸的長發，在場上飛奔跑起來時長發自然也就跟著飄起來，那叫一個瀟灑迷人。在你十歲左右送到一個青少年足球俱樂部踢了一年，媽媽就心疼了：訓練之頻繁密集，真是冬練三九，夏練三伏。100多度和10幾度都要在外麵訓練或比賽。媽媽受不了了，一年後咱就不踢了。
那飄逸的長發依舊迷人。隻是10年前我們回國，因為你長得好看，長得秀氣，又是迷人的笑容和長發，在北京被陌生人無數次地叫成小姑娘。你說我穿成這樣（寬鬆的短褲和T—shirt是典型的美式男孩子打扮）為什麽他們看不出我是男孩子呢？你很苦惱。後來被叫急了，果斷地忍痛割愛剪掉了長發。可是並不像你希望的，你還是被叫做小姑娘。你那九歲孩子稚嫩臉上的無奈是相當得可愛。
小的時候還在一個有名的遊泳隊遊了幾年泳，我的小寶貝兒入水就自然會遊泳，那就如同是一條小魚兒般地自由自在。後來也是因為媽媽看著遊得辛苦，尤其是夏天和冬天，遊泳場地有時和室外是一個溫度，媽媽又心疼了。
也許你有成為巨星的潛質，（媽媽說的是也許，也許根本沒有也許。）但媽媽從來都認為任何一個光環的背後都有很多心酸和運氣，付出多才能得到多。人們總是看到賊吃肉，沒看到或不願看到賊挨打，為了吃那一口肉，大多數賊都是被打得遍體鱗傷的。媽媽信奉平平淡淡才是真，快樂平和的過日子才是最好的。任何玩兒的東西作為愛好就好了，真正職業化就太辛苦和枯燥乏味了。
後來又送去學了網球。其實運動的東西都觸類旁通的，需要的是協調感和快速的反應，其他運動雖沒有去正規學習，你玩兒起來也是有模有樣。
跟其他孩子一樣，從小學鋼琴。後來天天聽哥哥在家裏拉大提琴，中學也就選了大提琴。你高中時還在學校組建了自己的舞蹈隊。現在大了，覺得對鋼琴更感興趣，時不時還在彈。媽媽很欣慰，從來不指望靠這些成名成家，能作為你一生的愛好正是媽媽樂得看到的。
因為善良懂事，因為長得好看，因為嘴巴乖巧，因為聰明伶俐，因為古怪精靈，因為靈氣可愛很容易得到大家的喜愛。
尤其是媽媽在有了個安靜乖巧的兒子以後，你的到來讓我享受到了生命的完整，做母親的完整，因為你和哥哥的性格如果不是100%的不同，也有99.9%的迥異，所以我應該算是體驗到了孩子身上所能有的大部分性格特征。
彈指一揮間，那個可愛活波奶聲奶氣的小嬰孩兒好像還是昨天，今天已經是個帥氣沉穩暖人的大男人啦。
很幸運能成為你的母親，有你相伴了20年，希望我們母子情今生還能有百年。以後生生世世都是此情的再續。
我的小寶貝兒，小甜心，祝你二十歲生日快樂。
Every time I think of you - my little adorable baby boy - my heart is melted by your handsome, warm and joyful smiling face. It touches the softest part of your mom’s heart. I just can’t help smiling with happiness.
I have always praised myself for being a fair mom who treats both of my boys equally. Neither of you have received more love than the other. I wrote a Chinese and English bilingual letter plus a video for your brother’s 20th birthday. I will treat you the same way.
I was so confident in my improvisational writing skills and my ability to procrastinate that I didn’t even start until two weeks ago. I rewrote this opening many times. I was so panicked when your birthday was coming around corner. I had the worst writer’s block. Could I really not come up with anything to say? What should I do about it? I reviewed what I drafted for your brother. It was touching and full of my tender loving care. I felt pressured by the letter I wrote to your brother. I started to think maybe I should wait a year. Your twenty-first is a big milestone. That was my excuse. But I couldn’t convince myself with it. Because it won’t be fair to you. You are just too good and perfect to me to put into words. Your brother’s video inspired me. Ok, let me also start with your photos.
It took me two full nights to select your photos. But it was only the tip of the iceberg. I went through every single one, recollecting the happy moments and sentiments we had. What wonderful times we had! Smiles on you and your brother’s face were so bright, sunny and innocent. My eyes were tearing up. All of the memories in the past 20 years came together as if I time travelled back to the moment when you were born.
You were a beautiful baby with a handsome face and pointed nose even when you were a newborn. You were two pounds lighter than your brother. Of course, your brother was a “giant” infant. It made me feel sorry for you, as I was sick when you were born. I didn’t have enough milk to feed you. But you had always been so quiet even though you were still hungry. You never cried louder than a soft mumbling. You were so easy to take care of that I felt guilty.
Gradually, you grew up. Your big brother thought you were not good-looking when you were born. However, it was very fortunate that your brother was very kind-hearted, easygoing, and patient. Your brother sat in bed lying your head on his legs, lovingly petting you.
Your cheerful nature emerged when you grew up. Your silvery laughter which I called a duck’s quack filled up the room from the bottom of your heart. It flooded out of the room, declaring to everyone that there was a beautiful and joyful angel in our family.
You learned to talk when you were very little. Your voice was very pleasantly high pitched. It sounded like pearls falling on a jade plate. Like an eloquent little lark, you started challenging your quiet elder brother when you were two. Your brother normally ignored your provocation. But he would give you a spank when he was really pissed off. As a big five year old boy that was born weighing 9.4 pounds, your brother didn’t know how to control his strength. You came and told on your brother with a loud cry. When I asked why he didn’t beat others, you, my little clever one, would ignore my question and yet try to gain my sympathy with endless tears. You kept murmuring, “Brother is mean”. You realized that I was very reasonable. I would never punish your brother just because he beat you. I’d rather educate him the way he should treat you as his little brother. You also learned the lessons by not provoking him or running and looking for protection as soon as you could.
As time went by, you revealed your talent in sports. Your excellent coordination and swiftness made you a forward in soccer and a guard in basketball. You ran like a starving tiger or cheetah with your super start. Your flowing long hair made you an even more charming boy when you ran on the field. You were sent to a junior soccer club for training when you were ten. The training game schedule was so intensive that you had to work out throughout the year regardless of the freezing winter or blistering summer. I could not take it anymore and for your sake, I called it off after one year.
Your flowing hair and charming smile were misleading when you were in Beijing 10 years ago. You were so handsome that strangers in Beijing called you “little girlie” time after time. You were so embarrassed about being treated as a little girl even though you wore standard American clothes (loose pants and T shirt). But you got so fed up, you reluctantly decided to cut your long hair reluctantly. However, it didn’t play out like you wanted, you were still treated the same way. Your lovely face as a nine-year old boy was so innocent that you had no choice but to accept it.
You also joined a competitive swimming club when you were little. Your talent of swimming made you swim like a carefree fish even with little training. The training was so intensive that I had you quit again.
You might have had super star potential. Might have, might not have. But I always believed that there are lots of effort and luck behind any success. No pain no gain. No one could succeed without painstakingly hard work. Everyone always talks about the success, not the work behind the scenes. I do believe a peaceful life is best. Enjoy your hobbies. When you turn your hobby into your career, it becomes dull and tiresome.
You were sent to learn tennis. Honestly, sports are all the same in terms of coordination and fast reactions. Even though you never learned seriously, you still played like a pro.
Like the other kids, you started learning the piano when you were little. You started learning the cello in middle school after years of listening to your brother’s performance at home. You started a dance team in high school. When you grew up, you became more interested in piano. You still liked playing the piano from time to time. I was so grateful for this. I had never expected you to become a top piano or cello player. I just loved watching you enjoy them as lifelong hobbies.
Your kindness, attractiveness, cleverness, quirkiness, and cuteness could easily win others’ hearts.
Already with a mellow and thoughtful child, I felt I could especially enjoy the integrity of life and being a mother after you were born. If your character isn’t 100%, then maybe 99.9% different from your elder brother. I thought I had experienced every personality.
In an instant, it still felt like yesterday when you still had that affectedly sweet voice. Today, you are already a handsome, steady and sunny young man.
I’m very lucky to be your mother, you have accompanied me for 20 years. I hope to be your mom forever, even in our next life.
My adorable boy, my sweetheart, happy twentieth birthday.
