Goodbye My Lockdown

Sammy J 是澳洲的一位喜劇演員，作家，音樂人。他在澳洲廣播公司（ABC）有一個節目，三分鍾左右的喜劇表演，或唱或演，幽默風趣。 以諷刺澳洲政客為主，這個三分鍾的彈唱是在墨爾本結束三個月的封城之後的創作。 以一個社恐的人設，詼諧地回顧封城的種種好處。 

隨著疫苗的到來，希望世界各地的封城很快成為過去，大家也有一天能像Sammy一樣抱怨封城的結束。

 

Goodbye, my lockdown

Nights full of nothing, empty weekend,

No pressure to see any family or friends,

Food gets delivered and left at the door

It's illegal to visit your mother-in-law.

We had it so good,

but we flattened the curve,

Now we are getting the punishment that we deserve。

 

So goodbye, my lockdown, Thanks for your time

The all day pyjama and afternoon wine,

It took a pandemic to finally see that the life of a hermit

That's the life for me.

 

COVID is bad, but I'll tell you what's worse,

Social occasions where you must converse,

Actual people in actual room

who can actually smell you, not like on Zoom

 

So goodbye lockdown, goodbye my love

Isolation and me, we fit like a glove

The sight of a calendar that's totally clean

It's worth more to me than any vaccine

 

The government says that it's safe now outside,

So I will put on some pants and I'll swallow my pride, 

But 60 billion is a pretty big hole （澳洲政府在疫情初期發錢時預算多算了600億）

Can I trust their advise if they can't cost the dole

Maybe it is safe to stay where I am

Got enough toilet paper to last until Jan

But if someone drops round for a casual chat

I am flying to Wuhan and eat a bat

 

Goodbye my lockdown, so long and adieu

When the second wave comes, I'll being waiting for you. 

Cause we'll soon return the life we knew,

Overcommitted and miserable too,

Saying, "Where are your shoes? We're gonna be late"

Then spending all day on things we hate

 

Goodbye my lockdown, Farewell, my friend, 

I'll never finsih a jigsaw again

It is time time with my kids that I'll never forget

It's the flexible hours and sourdough bread

Yeah, we flattened the curve and we got out strife, 

Just so we could be flattened by everyday life.