今夜我不該哭泣

我想，我今夜不應該哭。當我選擇接受現在的結局，就已經注定了我的悲哀。可是眼淚在心裏一直流，眼睛是幹的，就象是忽然間幹涸的湖。從清澈到布滿迷惘，我逐漸、逐漸將自己放逐。
其實又有什麽是了不起呢？一開始就已經注定了我們隻是情人，既然沒有承諾，沒有期盼。為什麽心裏還是會悲傷，會流淚？也許是為自己，也許是為自己的選擇，也許僅僅是為了自己潛意識中的期待。
在外流浪的女人，有誰不希望有一雙永久的臂彎可以依靠嗎？被傷過這麽多次，不是早就告訴自己不再動情，不再幻想了嗎？

心裏啊，卻總還是有一個角落，一個無法忘卻的角落，在那裏，有執著，有期盼，有憧憬，有留戀，當然也有傷心和愛。所以，當我走到現在，選擇了現在的生活，我心裏的角落仍然在默默地流淚，不為別的，隻為我將自己放逐，再也找不到回來的路。

[HLiu]

Dear friend, I hear you. And my heart and prayers go out for you. I feel your pain. And right at this moment, I am in the same situation, relationshipwise.
I made my tough but right decision. It is a sad decision, I have made up my mind not to lie any more to myself, to my son and my family in China. I decided to live a simple and honest life and maybe in the future die a happy woman.
I am on your side, friend. You are NOT alone on this one. Email me. If you live in the SF BAYAREA, I would love to meet you and take you out to lunch or dinner and get to know you and hear your story. It was brave of you to tell your story. Very healthy way indeed.

My email: [e-mail]
MSN: [e-mail]

HLiu