幽默: 新裝載的丈夫軟體

問題：新裝載的丈夫軟體  

親愛的技術服務，
去年我從男朋友5.0升級到丈夫1.0 之後意外發現整個係統全部放慢，尤其是在鮮花和珠寶功能方麵。在男友5.0階段這些功能都是超強的。

丈夫1.0還莫名其妙地卸載了很多重要程序，其中就包括浪漫9.5和個人關心6.5，並且還裝載了如下很討厭的程序。 

橄欖球5.0

足球3.0

高爾夫4.1

對話8.0幹脆完全罷工，房間整理2.6也已經整個癱瘓。

請注意我已經嚐試使用嘮叨5.3修複程序，但是效果甚微。

我下一步應該如何做？

簽名：無頭蒼蠅

親愛的無頭蒼蠅，
首先，請記住，　男友5.0是一個娛樂程序係統，而丈夫1.0屬於功用係統。　

請鍵入指令：我以為你曾愛我.html,　然後下載眼淚6.2。不要忘了裝載懺悔3.0當前版。

如果這些軟體有效，你會看到丈夫1.0自動啟動珠寶2.0和鮮花3.5。

但是，請記住，過多使用這些軟體會造成丈夫1.0默認成老蔫兒2.5，泡吧7.0，或者啤酒6.1。

注意啤酒6.1是一個非常不良的程序。它可能會下載放屁和大聲呼嚕ｂｅｔａ

無論如何，切忌安裝丈母娘1.0　（會在背景裏衍生病毒，以致最終控製你的整個係統）
 另外，不要嚐試再次安裝男友5.0。這是一個不支持軟件最終會造成丈夫1.0癱瘓。

總而言之，丈夫1.0是一個不錯的程序，但是記憶有限，而且學習新功能很慢。倒是有一些軟體可以提高記憶和功效。我們建議廚藝3.0和性感內衣7.7。

祝你好運，

技術服務

gl譯自原文：INSTALLING A HUSBAND
>
>
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
> flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
> Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
> as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
> undesirable programs such as
>
> Rugby 5.0,
> Football 3.0 and
> Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
> the system.
>
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
> but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
>
> Desperate.
>
>
>
> DEAR DESPERATE,
>
> First, keep in mind,
> Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
> operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears
> 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
> automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
> 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
> Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the
> Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
> 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
> control of all your system resources.)
>
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend
> 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband
> 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
> buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
> recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck!
>
> Tech Support
>

[阿卡卡]

haha........