Friends are a pretty important part of most people's lives. Research shows that having quality relationships increases your likelihood of being happy - so it's good for your happiness to be a great friend and to have a group of close friends surrounding you too.
A good friend might be someone who's there to provide support when times are tough, or someone you can rely on to celebrate a special moment with you.
You might see them every day, once a year, or less. You might hardly see them at all but instead keep in touch via telephone, email, or online.
Friends might come and go in your life, they might make you laugh and cry, but most importantly of all they love you for who you are. It doesn't matter what a person looks like or what kind of clothes they wear, but it's what's on the inside that counts. It's the actions they take, no matter how big or small, to show you how much of a good friend they are, and being there for you no matter what, even when things are incredibly important!
What is a Good Friend
This is how a number of young people responded when asked "What makes a good friend?"
•Someone who will support you no matter what.
•Someone you can trust and who won't judge you.
•Someone who won't put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings, but will show kindness and respect.
•Someone who will love you not because they feel they have to because you're their friend, but because they choose to.
•Someone whose company you enjoy and whose loyalty you can depend upon.
•Someone who will be there no matter what your situation is.
•Someone who is trustworthy and not afraid to tell you the truth, no matter how hard it is sometimes.
•Someone who can laugh when you laugh.
•Someone who will stick around when things get rough.
•Someone who makes you smile.
•Someone who can accept you for who you are, and just lend you an ear when you need to whine or complain.
•Someone who will cry when you cry.
•Someone who will give you room to change.
Being There for a Friend
Friendships are probably some of the most important relationships you will have in your life. Many of your favourite memories are likely to include times you have spent with friends. Friends are possibly the people who keep you sane (although they can sometimes drive you mad as well!).
Friendships can be hard work sometimes, especially when your good friend is going through a tough time or is just feeling down. Not knowing what to do, or what to say can be hard, frustrating, and emotionally challenging. However, just by thinking about what you can do to make them feel better, shows that you are a good friend. So how can you be there for a friend in need?
• Listen - Never underestimate the importance of listening. One of the important parts of listening is trying to understand the situation from your friend's point of view. If you aim to do this you'll find you'll ask the right sort of questions and they'll appreciate having someone who truly cares about how they feel.
From that point on you will probably feel more comfortable talking through possible solutions to your friend's situation with them, if they want to. Don't assume your friend wants advice - sometimes they may simply want someone to listen to what they're going through, and to work out what they're going to do themselves.
If it gets out of your depth, or you feel that you can't cope, say so, and offer alternatives such as seeing a professional, and offer to be there to support them. Check out the fact sheets on finding help for more info on the types of help out there.
• Get the Facts - If your friend has a medical condition or mental illness, a good way to offer support would be for you to learn about what your friend has been diagnosed with. This simple action shows that you care and that you are not going to run away because your friend's situation has changed. This will let them know that you like them for who they are.
Another good step is seeing whether there are support groups in your local areas and suggest coming along with your friend.
• Give your Friend a Hug - A simple gesture such as a hug or a smile can show your friend that they are not alone and that you are there for them.
• Be Willing to Make a Tough Call - If you think a friend is displaying a serious risk to their personal safety, you may need to act without their consent. No matter how hard it can be or if you are worried about your friend's reaction, just remember it's because you care about them and you don't want them to be hurt.
Depending on the situation, you may need to seek outside help; whether it's a teacher, counsellor, Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14), a family member or another adult.
• Let Your Friend Know you Care - You might want to write a letter or a poem addressed to your friend, showing how special they are to you and no matter how tough things get; that you will be there for them because that's the importance of friendship.
• Keep in Touch - If you can't physically be with your friend when in need; think about sending an email, chatting on MSN or a quick phone call or sms; to show that you are there for them.
