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1 大實話/It's True
The teacher was vividly describing the discovery of the law of gravitation. He tried to make the children impressed with its importance.
He said, "Isaac Newton was sitting on the ground looking at the tree. An apple suddenly fell on his head. It led him discover gravitation." And he added, "Isn't that wonderful?"
The "smart boy" in the class replied in a high voice: "Yes, teacher, and he was very fortunate. If looking at his books at school, he wouldn't have discovered anything."
教師很生動地描述萬有引力定律的發現，他想讓學生對它的重要性留下深刻的印象。
他說：“艾薩克·牛頓坐在地上，望著那棵樹。忽然又一個蘋果掉下來落到他的頭上。這就促使他發現了萬有引力。”他還接著說：“這不是很奇妙嗎?”
這時班上那個被叫做“精仔”的男孩尖著嗓子回答說：“是的，老師，而且還很幸運。如果他是坐在學校裏看著書本，就什麽也不會發現了。”
2 傲慢的軍官
A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."
Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"
The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment. "
"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."
有個士兵沒有注意到一個年輕的陸軍中尉，沒有向他敬禮。中尉很嚴厲地對那個士兵說：“你沒有向我敬禮，因此你要馬上敬100個禮。”
這時候將軍過來了。他看到那個可憐的士兵就要開始敬禮時，就大聲問道：“這是怎麽啦?”
中尉解釋說：“這個蠢貨沒有向我敬禮，我就罰他馬上向我敬一百個禮。”
將軍笑著說：“完全正確。不過，老弟，別忘了他向你每敬一個禮，你都要回禮的啊!”
3 聰明的博比
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
He took from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
"What's a book of natural history that, Bobby?"
"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
布朗非常欣賞他的小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。
布朗說：“他隻有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看。”
他從書架上拿下一本自然史書，把博比抱到膝上，打開書。指著一張長頸鹿的畫片。
“博比，這是什麽?”
“馬馬，”博比回答。 他又指了一張老虎的畫片，博比回答說：“貓咪。” 然後布朗又指了一張獅子的畫片，博比說：“狗狗。” 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫片，博比說：“爸爸!”
4 孩子多大了？
After waiting over 3 frustrating hours at the airport for the arrival of a plane that had been delayed for take-off, a man approached the boarding desk and asked for an arrival-time update. He was concerned because he was meeting his nephew and this was the boy’s 1st flight. "How old is the boy?" the airline representative asked solicitously. "He was 6 when he left for the airport," the man replied sharply.
因飛機起飛延誤，一個人在機場等著接人已3個小時了。他走近問詢處打聽飛機到達時間的最新消息。他非常著急，因為他是來接侄子的，而侄子是第一次乘飛機。“男孩多大了?”航空公司的人關心的問。“他出發去機場時6歲。”他毫不客氣地回答。
5 兩顆心髒在跳動
Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
護士：手術後你感覺怎樣?
病人：十分好，隻是我能感覺到我體內有兩顆心髒在跳動。
護士：怪不得給你做手術的大夫剛才在到處尋找他的手表。
6 現代生活
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.
We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.
How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?
Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?
兩個老朋友分別多年之後又見麵了，很快就開始談起各自丈夫的缺點。
我們結婚十五年了，一個婦女說道，每天晚飯後，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。
真可惡!另一個驚呼道。難道你不煩嗎?
我煩什麽?她的朋友答道。他不過是忍受不了自己的烹調技術。
婉妮好！夏日快樂！
水沫好！很高興你喜歡：）
水沫，新周快樂！
橄欖樹好！就是啊，怎麽能不心慌啊：）
橄欖樹，周末快樂！
喚喚粉好！你家何時開門啊？
喚喚粉，周末快樂！
盒子好！周末快樂！
花甲老翁好！嗯，將軍有辦法。
花甲老翁，周末快樂！
東東好！是啊，將軍厲害，醫生不該犯這樣的錯誤。
東東，周末快樂！
家家好！是啊，自己受不了自己：）
家家，周末快樂！
菲兒好！趕快給你再端一碗哈：）
菲兒，周末快樂！
哈哈，小婷好！周末快樂！
健康好！這醫生一粗心，結果好可怕。這兩口子有意思：）
健康，周末快樂！
聰明的將軍,希望得到點兒有墨.
鬆鬆周末快樂！
點點好！是啊，等晚點的飛機太難受了。人類的祖先和猩猩一樣哈~ 傲慢的人有吃虧的時候：）
點點，周末快樂！
荔枝好！那個孩子很機靈哈，發現我們還不夠現代，也有粗心的醫生啊：）
荔枝，周末快樂！