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周末一笑：我要做的一切就是付錢（轉載）

(2017-04-07 17:49:09) 下一個

1 我要做的一切就是付錢/All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子是財政部長。我嶽母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麽呢?”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

2 開個玩笑

A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad.

"What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? "asked one of them.

"So he won't join the army, " the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

一個小男孩牽著頭驢子穿過部隊營房。兩名士兵想跟小家夥開個玩笑：

“小孩，你把你哥哥牽得這麽緊幹什麽?”

“這樣，他就不會去參軍了。”小家夥眼都不眨地回答道。

3 我是單身漢

Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.

Jack finished them and gave them back.

"Anything else?" The nurse asked.

"Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said, "I'm a bachelor."

傑克騎車摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填。

傑克填好遞上表格。

"還有什麽漏填的?"護士問。

"有!"傑克想了想說，"我是個單身漢。"

4 致女朋友的一封信/A Letter to a Girl Friend

One day a young man was writing a letter to his girlfriend who lived just a few miles away in a nearby town. Among other things, he was telling her how much he loved her and how wonderful he thought she was. The more he wrote the more poetic he became. Finally, he said that to be with her he would suffer the greatest difficulties, he would face the greatest dangers that anyone could imagine. In fact, to spend only one minute with her, he would climb the highest mountain in the world, he would swim across the widest river, he would enter the deepest forest and with his bare hands fight against the fiercest animals.

He finished the letter, signed his name, and then suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to mention something quite important. So, in a postscript below his name, he added: "By the way I'll be over to see you on Wednesday night -- if it doesn't rain."

一天，一個青年男子給住在離他幾英裏遠的鎮上的女朋友寫信。除寫了其他的事情外，他告訴她他愛她有多深，他認為她有多好，他越寫越富有詩意。最後，他寫道，為了能和她呆在一起，他將克服最大的困難，他將麵對任何人能夠想像的最大的危險。實際上，為了能和她呆上一分鍾，他將爬越世界上最高的山，他將遊過最寬的河，他將赤手空拳進入最深的森林同最凶惡的野獸搏鬥。

他寫完了信，簽上了名，突然，他想起忘了寫一件挺重要的事。因此，他在信末簽名後又補充道：“順便說一下，我將在星期三晚上去看你--如果不下雨的話。”

5 哥倫布的電話號碼/Columbus's Telephone Number

Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1506) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?

Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus's telephone number.

小瑪麗：我在曆史書中發現，克裏斯托.哥倫布這個名字後老是有(1451-1506) 這幾個數字，老師，請您給解釋一下好嗎?

小羅斯：老師，我能告訴她。那是哥倫布的電話號碼。

6 加標點

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing".

The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

一個英語老師在書寫板上寫到：“女人沒有她男人一無是處。”

然後老師要求學生們為這句話加上正確的標點。

男的寫道：“女人，若沒有男人，一無是處。”

女的寫道：“女人!沒有她，男人將一無是處。”