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1 蘑菇與毒菌 Mushroom and Toadstool
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年少的童子軍:我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒菌區別開呢?
年長的童子軍:上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來,那就是蘑菇。
2 省錢 Save Money
Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday.
One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,” I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"
The clerk looked in a book and then said, "Dr. Kenneth Grey, 61010."
Henry said“Thank you very much. Is he expensive?"
"Well, "the clerk answered, "He always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits."
Henry decided to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said “I’ve come again, doctor."
For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything.
Then he nodded and said“Oh, yes. “ He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do. Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time."
亨利是個美國人,他到倫敦來度假。
有一天他感到身體不舒服,於是走到旅館服務台對服務員說:“我想看病,你能給我推薦一位好醫生嗎?”
服務員查閱了一下本子,然後說:“肯尼思·格雷醫生,61010。"
亨利說:“非常感謝,他收費貴嗎?”
“喔,”服務員回答說:“他對初診患者收費兩英鎊,複診收費一點五英鎊。”
亨利想節省五十便士,所以他去看病時對醫生說:“我又來了,醫生。”
醫生仔細端詳著他的麵孔,幾秒鍾沒說話。
然後點點頭說:“哦,是的。”給他做完檢查以後,醫生說:“病情發展正常。繼續服用上次我給你開的藥吧。”
3 醫生和兔子 The Doctor and the Rabbit
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
兔子：你確信這瓶特製胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病？
醫生：當然咯，凡是喝過的兔子沒有一隻來要第二瓶的。
4 大手 Big hands
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老師：如果我左手上有7個桔子，右手上有8個桔子。那麽我有什麽？
學生：大手。
5 哲學考試 Philosophy Test
John and Tom chose the philosophy course this term.
The teacher said, “Boys, you need to take a test before you can get the credits.”
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see the result. "Well,” the teacher said, “Both of you got the same score except I’m going to fail Tom.”
Tom complained, “Don’t you think that’s prejudice or something?”
"Well, "the teacher said, “Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and John answered ’I don’t know, ’and then when I looked at your paper. You answered, ‘me either'.”
約翰和湯姆這學期選修了哲學課。
老師說:“孩子們，你們得參加一次考試才能得到學分。”
他們就參加考試了，第二天，他們來看成績。老師說:“你們成績一樣，但是湯姆不能及格。”
湯姆袍怨說:“您不覺得這是一種歧視或其他什麽嗎?”
“好吧，”老師說，“讓我來告訴你們是怎麽回事兒。你們倆的卷子都答得很好，但是在最後一道題目，約翰答道‘我不會’，而當我看你的卷子時，你答道‘我也不會’。”
6 時間對豬有什麽意義? What’s time to a pig?
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn’t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What’s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裏的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什麽樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裏人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裏人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麽意義?"
(From internet)
fengdaming好! 有人一作弊就露餡~
fengdaming,周末快樂!
哈哈哈,老人家聰明,不會為了你拔的蘑菇冒生命的危險~~~
閑閑客,周五快樂!
哈哈，雪花，那真是隻幸福的豬～～～
雪花，新周快樂！
哈哈,圓圓,沾花惹草也不容易啊:)
圓圓,周末快樂!
花甲老翁好!周末快樂!
美麗好! 有人太節約了:)
美麗,周末快樂!
紐約美眉好!第四個老師想要的答案估計是兩手一共幾個橘子.小朋友沒想到要做加法:)
看了你最近的幾個貼,退休計劃很實用啊,等待你的下一集介紹.
穀歌高管很可惜,那麽年輕有才.
紐約美眉,周末快樂!
你家的白菜肉包子太香了，根本擠不進去，隻在門口聞聞味，就留著口水走了。
下次要換大蒸鍋呀。。。。。人手不夠，可以請我呀。我的手藝比隔壁隻會包大眼包子的王大娘好太多了！
就喜歡花生MM哈哈的笑:)
花生MM,周末快樂!
被尼斯這樣表揚,真是感到自豪~~~
妹子啊，你以後要好好學習學習你鬆姐姐才是，介樣才不會吃到麵團啊嗬嗬
點點好!還是點點看的開,可憐的小兔子啊~
點點,周末快樂!
喚喚好好休息吧,爭取下次跑快點兒~
喚喚的笑點太高了~
喚喚,周末快樂!
還是覺得鬆姐姐說二哥的話更可樂，哈哈哈
那是不是特高興小時候的回答~~~
特高興,周末快樂!
尼斯,燜麵好了,我趕快吃去~~~
尼斯,周末快樂!
阿鬆你可真行啊，你讓我一大早起來就有急迫感了，不是扁豆炒麵是燜麵燜麵。你睡吧，起來吃燜麵哈
哈哈,燕子好! Hope the younger scout don't listen to the older one~
Yanzi, have a nice weekend!
2, trick or treat....
3,maybe the rabbit's carrot remedy contains toadstool?!
4, the students would like the teacher to play magic tricks with his BIG hand
5,Tom has good eyesight^_^
6,the farmer is so humble! he has an easy life~~~~