1 蘑菇與毒菌 Mushroom and Toadstool
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年少的童子軍:我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒菌區別開呢?
年長的童子軍:上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來,那就是蘑菇。
2 省錢 Save Money
Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday.
One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,” I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"
The clerk looked in a book and then said, "Dr. Kenneth Grey, 61010."
Henry said“Thank you very much. Is he expensive?"
"Well, "the clerk answered, "He always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits."
Henry decided to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said “I’ve come again, doctor."
For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything.
Then he nodded and said“Oh, yes. “ He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do. Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time."
亨利是個美國人,他到倫敦來度假。
有一天他感到身體不舒服,於是走到旅館服務台對服務員說:“我想看病,你能給我推薦一位好醫生嗎?”
服務員查閱了一下本子,然後說:“肯尼思·格雷醫生,61010。"
亨利說:“非常感謝,他收費貴嗎?”
“喔,”服務員回答說:“他對初診患者收費兩英鎊,複診收費一點五英鎊。”
亨利想節省五十便士,所以他去看病時對醫生說:“我又來了,醫生。”
醫生仔細端詳著他的麵孔,幾秒鍾沒說話。
然後點點頭說:“哦,是的。”給他做完檢查以後,醫生說:“病情發展正常。繼續服用上次我給你開的藥吧。”
3 醫生和兔子 The Doctor and the Rabbit
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
兔子：你確信這瓶特製胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病？
醫生：當然咯，凡是喝過的兔子沒有一隻來要第二瓶的。
4 大手 Big hands
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老師：如果我左手上有7個桔子，右手上有8個桔子。那麽我有什麽？
學生：大手。
5 哲學考試 Philosophy Test
John and Tom chose the philosophy course this term.
The teacher said, “Boys, you need to take a test before you can get the credits.”
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see the result. "Well,” the teacher said, “Both of you got the same score except I’m going to fail Tom.”
Tom complained, “Don’t you think that’s prejudice or something?”
"Well, "the teacher said, “Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and John answered ’I don’t know, ’and then when I looked at your paper. You answered, ‘me either'.”
約翰和湯姆這學期選修了哲學課。
老師說:“孩子們，你們得參加一次考試才能得到學分。”
他們就參加考試了，第二天，他們來看成績。老師說:“你們成績一樣，但是湯姆不能及格。”
湯姆袍怨說:“您不覺得這是一種歧視或其他什麽嗎?”
“好吧，”老師說，“讓我來告訴你們是怎麽回事兒。你們倆的卷子都答得很好，但是在最後一道題目，約翰答道‘我不會’，而當我看你的卷子時，你答道‘我也不會’。”
6 時間對豬有什麽意義? What’s time to a pig?
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn’t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What’s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裏的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什麽樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裏人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裏人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麽意義?"
(From internet)
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