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周末一笑: 交換三明治

(2015-02-21 04:39:25) 下一個

1 交換三明治 Exchange Sandwiches

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they took sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

有兩位律師走進一家小餐廳。點了兩份飲料。然後他們就從他們的公文包當中拿出三明治開始吃。服務生感到相當不妥，就走過去告訴他們：“你們不可以在這裏吃你們自己的三明治！”這兩位律師彼此看了一下對方，聳聳他們的肩膀，然後就交換了三明治。

2 心髒移植 Hearth Transplant

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?"

The man replies, "Not B-A-A-A-A-D!"

有一名需要心髒移植的男子被他的醫生告知，唯一可用的心髒就是一隻羊的心髒。這名男子最後同意了，醫生就將羊的心髒移植到這名男子身上。就在手術後幾天，這名男子前來接受身體檢查。醫生問他：“你現在感覺怎麽樣呀？”

這名男子回答說：“還不錯、錯、錯、錯、錯。”

3 快速清掃 Quick Cleanup

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It reads "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙裏忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之後，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃幹淨了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你不往浴缸裏看。”

5 我怎麽把口香糖取出來 How do I get the gum out

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"

當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐麵前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麽才能把口香糖從耳朵裏麵取出來呢？”

6 金魚 Goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。

弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麽辦？

斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！