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1 購物 Go Shopping
Our supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "Don’t worry, lady," he said. "I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?"
我們的超級市場在廉價拍賣無骨雞胸，我認識的某位女士打算去多買一些。然而，到了這家肉店的時候她感到很失望，因為隻找到一些事先就包裝好的雞肉，於是她就向這肉店的屠夫抱怨。屠夫說：“小姐，別擔心，我會替你多包幾盤，在你買完東西的時候把它們準備好。”逛完幾個走道之後，我的朋友後聽到肉店屠夫的聲音透過公共廣播係統隆隆地說:“那位想要大胸部的小姐請到本店後方來見我好嗎？”
2 要有信心 Gotta Have Faith
This is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With trembling voice, he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks."
有個關於在歐洲座落於高空好幾百英尺懸涯高處的修道院故事。到達修道院的唯一的方法，就是被懸吊在由數名修道士用盡他們全力拖拉到山頂的籃子裏。顯然的，乘坐籃子爬上陡峭的懸崖是相當令人害怕的。有位旅客約在半途中，注意到懸掛他的繩子很老舊而且被磨損時，心中感到極度緊張不安。他用顫抖的聲音詢問與他一同乘坐在籃子裏的修道士，他們多久換繩子一次。修道士想了一會，然後粗率地回答：“繩子斷掉時。”
3 懶惰的經理 Lazy Manager
A middle management executive has to take on some sports by his doctor’s, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine”, the manager says. “When I am on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, and my brain immediately says, "Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!" "Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks. "Then my body says, “Who 、Me? Don’t talk nonsense!"
有一位中階經營主管因為聽了他的醫師指示必須要做一些運動，所以他決定要打網球。在幾個星期之後，他的秘書就問他情況如何，這位經理說：“進行得不錯，當我在網球場上看到球快速朝著我來的時候，我的腦袋就立刻說：‘反手拍！上網！殺球！後退！ ”秘書問說：“真的呀，然後嚨？”“然後我的身體說：‘誰？我嗎？別胡說八道了！’”
4 你做了什麽壞事 What is your offense
It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner.
聖誕佳節到來，法官心情愉悅地問犯人：“你做了什麽壞事啊？”
“我今年聖誕節購物早了些”犯人回答。
“這麽做沒錯啊，”法官說：“到底多早之前啊？”
“商店開門之前”犯人答道。
5 應聘間諜 Apply a Spy Job
Ten men applied for a job as an industrial spy. The interviewer gave each man a sealed envelope. They were ordered to deliver it to the fifth floor.
One man secretly disobeyed and opened his envelope. It read, “You’re the right person for this job. Report to the personnel department immediately.”
有10個男人去應征產業間諜的工作。麵試者給每個人一個封好的信封。他們被命令把信封送到五樓。
有一個人偷偷地違反命令，打開了給他的信封。上麵寫著：¨你是這份工作最合適的人選。馬上到人事部報到。"
6 為什麽新郎穿黑衣服 Why is the groom wearing black?
At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” She answered, "The bride wears white because this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thought about this and said, "Why is the groom wearing black?”
在一場婚禮上，一個小男孩問他的母親：”媽媽，為什麽那女孩穿白衣服？“這位母親回答道：”新娘穿白衣服，是因為今天是她最快樂的一天。”這個男孩想了想然後說：那為什麽新郎穿黑衣服?”
(from Internet)
謝謝canhe讀帖和特意留言,以後不方便不留言也沒關係,來日方長呢:)
問好小小:)
小小,新周快樂!
謝謝每周一笑，這個周末太忙了，周末過完了才得空坐下來享受一下：））
還得膽子大的才行:)
問好nycman,周末快樂!
每周一笑，也要成經典了。
哈哈,慧眼獨具:)
fengdaming,周末快樂!
閑閑客好! 這不是我翻譯的,照搬的原文:)
閑閑客,周末快樂!
點點好! 聖誕節人們都忙哈~ 售貨員的話隻有那位顧客懂~
點點,周末快樂!
“我的朋友後聽到肉店屠夫的聲音透過公共廣播係統隆隆地說:” 翻譯很妙，讚！
小鬆你家改名周末樂園拉 ：））
哈哈,問好家mm, 回答小朋友的話時一定要認真啊~~~
家mm,周末快樂!