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1 請假 To Ask For Leave
"So you want another day off,” snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
“這麽說，你又要請一天假，”老師怒氣衝衝地對他的學生湯姆說，“我倒想知道你這次找什麽借口。你已經請了四次假說去參加你爺爺的葬禮。”
湯姆回答說:“今天是我奶奶再次舉行婚禮。”
2 我希望您的麵包病好了 I hope your bread gets better
I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand. When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."
我在做麵包，需要把麵團放在一個暖和點的地方使它發起來。我把麵盆放在電熱褥裏，後來就出去幹別的活去了。等我回家時，發現兒子留下一張紙條，上麵寫著：“親愛的媽媽，我希望您的麵包已經病好了。”
3 大五個月 Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他隻有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他說他已經十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了？”軍醫問。
“十八，長官。”約翰說。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎？”
約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”
4 數學教授 A Math Professor
A math professor has just been knocked down by a speeding car. A police officer rushed over and asked“Were you able to get the license number of the vehicle that hit you, sir?”
The professor replied，"Well, not exactly，but I do recall that if the number was multiplied by itself, then divided by three, the square root of the answer would turn out to be the original number with the integers reversed.”
一位數學教授被一倆時速很快的車撞倒了。警察跑過去問:“先生，您能說出撞您的那輛車的車牌號碼嗎?”
教授回答:“嗯，我說不準，可是我記得，如果將號碼自乘，再除以三，然後開方，則平方根正好同原數的次序顛倒過來。”
5 等明年再說 Wait till Next Year
The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast. "Did you hear about this, dear?" she asked. "It seems a man traded his wife for season tickets to the Spurs. You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?" "No way," answered the husband. "The season's almost half over."
一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她邊吃邊看報紙。“親愛的，你聽過這則新聞嗎？”她問道。“似乎是一個男的為了看馬刺隊的比賽，用他太太跟人換了球季的門票。你不會那麽做吧，親愛的？”“我才不會那麽傻呢！”先生答道。“今年球季幾乎都過了一大半了."
6 渴望愛情 Thirstin' for Love
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse. But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"
沙斯敦經常去他女友的公寓住處，但他總是設法找個理由以免太晚回家。但這一次，他和女朋友都睡著了，當他醒來時都已經淩晨兩點了，沙斯敦腦筋一轉，立刻打電話回家，當他太太接電話時，他故意喘著氣說：“千萬不要付贖金！我已經安全逃出來了！”
(from Internet)
哈哈,Windows9數學很好,也很認真地推敲了,佩服一個:)
歡迎來玩,周末快樂!
整全的教育好!很欣賞你的中文教學,讓華裔的後代受益.
周末快樂!
感謝你的來訪，中文教學的質量提高以後，受惠最多的還是華裔。
canhe好! 你的見解獨到, 想到聰明反被聰明誤:)
祝canhe闔家新年快樂,事事如意!
含嫣好! 很高興你喜歡:)
祝含嫣闔家新年快樂,萬事如意!
幸福劇團好! 新年快樂!
閑閑客好! 如果Tom沒有說謊,他的奶奶真是很不一般:)數學教授不是非常牛,就是在開玩笑:)
閑閑客, 周末快樂!
問好美麗! 嗯,人家一會兒功夫都算了若幹回合了~
美麗,周末快樂!
周末來鬆鬆這兒， 總是開心!
謝謝， 鬆鬆周末愉快!
家mm好! 約翰真是不會撒謊:)
家mm,周末快樂!
哈哈,nycman,就是,人家嫁幾次都行:)
nycman,周末快樂!
貝卡好! 數學老師功夫不一般哈:)
貝卡,周末快樂!
問好fengdaming! 周末快樂!
“Life goes on" 是真理。誰說奶奶不能再嫁呢！
薔薇好!
新年快樂!
點點好! 那個老師還真被說得沒話說了.嗯,麵包受冷就胖不起來了:)
謝謝點點喜歡,周末快樂!
整全的教育,你好! 你可以隨意放在你想放的網站.這期都不是我翻譯的.以前的有個別的沒有中文翻譯的,我簡單地翻譯了一下,但大多數都是原來帶的翻譯.
周末快樂!
一幀好! 你的版本也非常好笑,大媽一下就揭露了謊言.
一幀,周末快樂!
www.holisticedu.us 和同學們分享，不知可否？
另外，你文章裏的(from Internet)是不是指英文？
若是，中文是否是你翻譯的？
謝謝！
一男士摟著一美女接電話：“老婆啊，我自己在大街上，一會就回。”旁邊大媽看著不順眼，高聲喊道：“806退房！”