歌友會
當清風送來一抹草籽的芬芳，我驀然忘了憂，歡天喜地起來。
Scotch with two drops of water.
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra less
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes?
Marriage
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes: Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''
括號用的不對吧？:))－－－ : 放在了 ) 之前，是因為 : 長得好看，但是我也放 )在後麵了呀？所以不是沒用對，而是用的很對，你要是再說，就是反對符號們，也就是反對人類文明，你就是。。。。。哈哈哈：）））
是PP寫的，快表揚俺吧，哈哈哈：）（這會兒是真的大笑）
太快了吧你?啥時間呀?
哈哈哈！
太好笑了。