兒童笑話３則

１　　School grades

A little boy wasn\'t getting good grades in school.

One day he surprised the teacher by tapping her on the shoulder and saying, I don\'t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don\'t get better grades somebody is going to get a spanking!

２　　Intelligence

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree? I don\'t know, responded the other. I\'ll ask him.

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. Why are we digging in the hot sun and you\'re standing in the shade? Intelligence, the boss said. What do you mean, �intelligence\'?

The boss said, Well, I\'ll show you. I\'ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can. The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss\' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, That\'s intelligence!

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, What did he say? He said we are down here because of intelligence. What\'s intelligence? said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, Take your shovel and hit my hand.

３　History of Phones

German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fiber net.

Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.