習近平的團隊就像是阿加莎克裏斯蒂的小說『無人生還』

 

 

第 19 屆亞運將於本月 23 日至 10 月 8日在中國杭州盛大舉辦，將邀集亞洲多國運動好手一同與會切磋體能，一拚高下。不過，近日杭州亞運的宣傳海報疑似傳出“辱華”嫌疑，根據社群媒體X （前推特）賬號 @whyyoutouzhele 8日所發布的推文顯示，杭州亞運金華市分賽區各項目競賽海報中，台灣與亞洲各國並列齊稱為“國家”，按照中國小粉紅過往標準，該海報印刷負責人中共金華市團委已構成辱華。

杭州亞運將於不久後盛大展開，當地政府正緊鑼密鼓地籌備賽事。據 @whyyoutouzhele所公布的海報內容中顯示，此份海報中共有 3處將台灣稱為國家，包含一開始杭州亞運的介紹文，再到賽事字段中的足球項目及藤球項目中，都將台灣與韓國、泰國、印尼及馬來西亞等國並列稱為國家，並不是台灣在以往參與國際賽事中常用的“中華台北”。

該海報負責人據傳是中共金華市團委，按照以往中國人民判定的辱華標準，該份海報已構成辱華事實， X 網友也紛紛留言笑稱:“我不辱華華自辱”、“這下算是官方接受台灣是獨立國家了！”、“分裂國家！要捉起來了”等字句嘲諷中國小粉紅出征辱華案件的舉動。

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day this big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a raggedy sleeveless sundress walks into a bar.

She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man out there will buy a lady a drink?”

The whole bar goes dead silent as the patrons try to ignore her.

At the end of the bar, a skinny little piss head slams his hand on the bar and says, “Barman, I want to buy that ballerina a drink.”

The barman pours the drink and the woman chugs it down.

After she’s completed the drink, she turns again to the throng and points around at all of them, again revealing the hairy armpit, saying, “What man out there will buy a lady a drink?”

Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and slurs to the barman, “Sir, I would like to buy the ballerina another drink.”

After serving the lady her second drink, the barman approaches the little drunkard and says, “It’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?”

To which, the drunk replies, “Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina.”

 

 

 

A month before my wedding, my fiancée told me she mistakenly left her favorite hoodie at her sister’s apartment and asked me to go get it. I knocked on the door and her sister answered, wearing yoga pants and a low-cut top. I’d always thought my fiancée’s sister was hot but she was exceptionally s*xy today. Her hair was still wet from a shower and when she gave me a hug I could smell the incredible lotion she always used. She brought out the hoodie for me and as I was about to turn and leave she said “What’s your hurry?”
I replied, “no hurry, just wanted to let you get back to whatever you were doing.”
She said, “I know you’re about to marry my sister, but I need you to know I think you’re super hot, and I’ve always wanted to have s*x with you. If you want to have a last little bit of fun before you walk down that aisle, it will stay between us forever.”

Without saying a word I turned and bolted for the door as fast as I could, making a bee line for my car.
As I approached the car, I see my fiancée and her parents standing there with huge smiles on their faces. Her dad immediately said, “son, you just passed a pretty hard test there and I want you to know how happy I am to see my daughter marry such an upstanding young man.”

The sister was now walking up from behind and she said, “I have to hand it to you there; I didn’t think you’d turn me down.” I was dumbfounded. We all hugged and went out for dinner. And the moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your glove compartment