may25,2007

May 25

it is a day

To get myself out of the mud I have been struggling for about last two years, I got on the bus to the same consulting center once again. On the bus to the destination, I could not help thinking that life like an adventure on  bus, the big difference lies in that we can't simply get off the bus when we feel unhappy.Once we take a wrong bus, in most cases we have to take detour to return to the right spot and we can never go back to the original stop and restart the journey. Therefore, I have to complete the whole process on my own because I chose so and I have to bear what followed. Do I have another choice?  in retrospect, I would make the same choice based on my personality if I could go back. So I was not so regretful for what I have done, after all I have indeed tried my best and it is time to accept what has happened. I am not sure whether or not it is a good thing once you learn the evil sides of the human being, you might lose the passion and will never get shocked with whatever happening to you or ppl around you. 

 

Will I become pessimistic about the life? I won't .....Life is short and I will put out all i have to embrace it, so in the end I will have no regrets.  No matter how much hurt I will receive, the passion for a beautiful life and happiness should not be compromised. Sometimes we might believe we are not good enough or we might not do enough to make things better, actually it won't make big difference no matter how we try. Part of life is in our hands, part is affected by the others. The only thing we could do is to accept what has happened and move on.

 

To make myself completely exhausted, I cooked " big plate of chicken" for my lunch,then went on shopping. See......I carry out the typical way of women to deal with pressure and depression. As always, i chose a nice sleeping gown to make myself happy. I might never get chance to show it off in my current place, but I am satisfied with the fact that I own it. it is not the best way to soothe my nerve with some material,but I lied to myself that it is the only one I could pick up right now.

 

it is my eternal task to maintain the inner peace ......I broke it once again......but I will try to put everything back together....the peace will visit me sooner or later, I am so sure...after all LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL...

 

It is a track of one day in my life