We’ve got to孝, not our child

Many mommies and daddies talk about Xiao (孝).  This is a great and interesting but very challenging topic. First of all, Xiao is a comprehensive term, more than just respect, support and help our parents though to respect, help and support parents are the very core, practical and realistic aspects of Xiao.  Since this Xiao topic is too big, let’s just discuss the core aspect of help and support parents financially and mentally.   
My personal idea is that as the first generations of immigrants from Mainland China we should Xiao and we have to Xiao our parents unless ours parents are criminals or evils.   Of course, we don’t need to Xiao those parents who never love and care us then when we were small and now when we are grown up.  Believe me that some parents do not deserve Xiao from their son and daughters.
To me, I’ve got to Xiao my mom.  I have a super mom.   She loves us so much.  My mom brought us up herself and she suffered a lot.  I can say that we brothers Xiao her very much.  She has a very happy and active life now.  China does not have retirement systems.  Old people have no income to support themselves in China.  As their son and daughter, we’ve got to help them financially.  Does my mom have luxury life as we are in America?  I don’t believe so.  To certain circumstance, she does not have to.  For instance, she does not need a car.  Besides, Xiao does not necessarily mean that we should listen to and follow parents on everything.  We should be able to know what right and wrong is with our parents too.  That’s why we went to college and came to America.  In most cases, we are smarter than our parents, so are our children in the future.  In short, try every possible way to make our parents happy as well as have a happy family of our own.  To me, that’s Xiao enough.
A reasonable parent also should understand that their son and daughter should have their own family.  The children have their own way of life.  For instance, I know that my life is much better and higher than my mom’s in China.  But I’ve got to buy a house to live in and have car to go to work.  My daughters have got to study piano, drawing, etc. I have to live as American way, not Chinese way.    My mom understands us well.  She never asks for money or anything from any of us brothers.  She even worries that telephone calls to her may cost us too much.  She does not bother to live with us though we ask her almost every time we talk to her.  She is afraid that she may cause trouble to us if she lives together with us.
To my daughters, my wife and I don’t expect them to Xiao us at all though we love them so dearly.  We appreciate American way of life.  We have kids because we love to have kids.  It is our great pleasure to raise up kids.  Kids have our life more meaningful and cheerful.  In some way, we own kids for the happiness that kids bring to us.  It is not fair to our kids to Xiao us in America if not impossible and practical.  We don’t expect them to help and support us, let alone to live together with them when we are old.  But they have got to respect us because we are a pretty good mother and father.  We don’t believe that they will respect others if they don’t even respect their parents.  They will be certainly losers in America if they don’t know how to respect others, let alone a great person.  To us, Xiao their grandparents and us is not their responsibility and obligations.  They don’t have to.  We don’t require them or train them to.  Of course, we will greatly appreciate it if they do 孝 their grandparents and us.