Impossible to “孝” in America

I can’t believe that a couple of parents even are calling for 孝 in America.  It is ridiculous, impossible, selfish and foolish.   Every and each Chinese or any one who knows Chinese cultures know what Xiao is more or less.  Xiao is more than just to respect, support and take care of parents.  In certain aspect, Xiao is the core and fundamental foundation of Chinese feudal society.  Xiao is more harmful than helpful in a modernized and industrialized society. 
I borrowed Xiao to our parents in my previous message because of the Chinese reality.  For instance, China does not have a retirement system and old people do not have income.   Our parents spent every penny on us.  Most Chinese parents gave all their love to their children and even suffered a lot.  We’ve got to Xiao our parents in China.  Look, we even donate to other people who are in trouble.  Why are we mean to our parents?  It is just not right.  In some sense, it is our responsibility and basic human instinct to help, support, respect and take care of our parents, especially those parents in China.
However, it is totally different in America.    Even in China, we are not able to Xiao our parents as 24 Xiao stories did.  It is impossible and is not practical at all in America. American is an industrialized and capitalized country.  No one has that much time or even that much money to take care of their parents as the 24 stories did.  Besides no one wants that Xiao and no one likes that Xiao if you are Americans.  Please don’t get it wrong that some Americans love Chinese cultures.  In most cases, Americans love Chinese cultures for pleasure not to heritage it or keep it.  
For instance, no young couple would love to live together with their parents in America.  One will feel uneasy or shamed to live together with their parents when they are grown up.  American core cultures, political and economic system and society require or encourage independence, small family, self-sufficient and adventure.  They don’t like tradition and conserve way of life. They always try some new.  That’s one of the reasons why America is advanced and prosperous.  Our kids will be certainly losers if we train them with Chinese Xiao.  And we will absolutely fall to do so in America.  As matter of fact, some of Chinese Xiao like 24 Xiao stories may be not even legal at all.
It is ridiculous and selfish to ask kids to pay back to us or Xiao us.  To me, any parent who demands Xiao from their kids is not respectful and may not deserve Xiao at all.
In America, to raise kids up is parents’ reasonability and obligation.  But it is not kids’ responsibility and obligation to support parents.   And I agree with this.  You know why?
Let me be frank, honest and straightforward.  As normal human beings, we enjoy making love as well as having a baby.   We just cannot deny this fact, can we?  We have baby because we love to have a baby.  Remember abortion is free choice in America.  We also can have a pet rather than a baby.  No one will force us to have a baby.  No one even say anything if we don’t have a baby.  It is totally our own choice.  As a man (lady and gentleman), we’ve got to be responsible for our actions.  Besides, kids bring us so much happiness.  They make our life more meaningful and cheerful.  We own the kids for the happiness and pleasure that they bring to us.  
It is ridiculous and silly to call Chinese Xiao in America because America has a pretty good established retirement.  No parents will spend every penny on their kids.  They will try to save some money one-way or the other for the retirement.  They know that they cannot account on their kids when they are retired.  And they don’t want to.  It is just not American way of life and it is a pretty good way.   We as parents don’t need to bother our kids and our kids don’t have too much burden, either. I don’t believe any parent would love to see that their kids are struggling or are not happy because of us parents.  Believe me that so many young married couples are not happy because of us parents.  Just look around and you will see what I mean.  As Chinese Americans, we’ve got to take a lesson from this.  At least, I do.  
You may ask me what the kids should do, what their responsibility is and what they should do to their parents?    To me, they have their responsibility and obligation for their kids.  They have to work to support their family.  If we are lucky, they should respect us parents and give us as much support, care and respect as they can.  But don’t’ account on them too much.  I will guarantee that we will be disappointed if we do.  In this case, listen to me and be smart.  Save some for us ourselves.   It is not late yet.  I know that most of mothers and fathers here are in 30s, 40s, and some maybe even younger as 20s.
How can we save some for ourselves?  Well, there are many ways in America.  For example, we got a house and we have income.  We don’t have to pay every penny for our kids’ college education.  Kids should be responsible for their college education, at least part of it since they are almost 18 years old.  If we could finish our school as poor exchange student by scholarship, financial aid, restaurant work, etc, I firmly believe that our kids can do too.  And they should.  That’s a great experience for them.  It is our fault if we pay all of their college cost and then expect their 孝 later.  I will certainly not be that fool.