English Patient

Ownership, Ownership. A love without owneship, a love intruded into another good man's ownership. Betrayal of friends, country, and death of all people involved, all because of this sinful, exotic, passionate love. This kind of love only happen between the spirital man and woman.

I feel like I am my husband's property. As a girl friend told me, during those social gatherings, some guys staring at me with desire, but they could not or may not do any thing other than staring, for they had to respect my husband's ownership of me. And vs. versa.

I don't know to what degree my husband respects my ownership of him. He definitly requires me to respect his complete ownership of me. Even through he is a perfect gentalman. He seems never being too excited or passionate about anything, at least according to people's eyes or feelings. But I know he does care about his career, his children in second and me at some level. After so many years marrage, I am not that exciting to him any more. The sparkles are disappearing.

Sometimes, there are a few guys, of course most of them are married or owned by other women, admiring me so much and could not hide their feeling. A coule of them are in the center stage of our small community. Everybody sees they fall in love with me. When those things happen, my feeling is quite complex. Proud, the desire of going forward to the fire, the fear, and the self control and not want to hurt my husband and myself.

I believe many women has similar experience as me. Maybe I am one of those who has successfully controlled themselves to not betray the husands.