The trouble I've been through

2004 wasn't a good year to our family at all. My mom had a very severe stroke in October.  The recovery was not as promising as we would like to see despite she had had a month long treatment in hospital with my daily visit. Finally, she was discharged and since the new wheelchair accessible washroom at my home was still under construction, my mom was moved into a brand new chinese senior citizen home which has rehabilitation programs.  Being paralyzed and confined into a wheelchair is a horrible reality my mom had to face and she had difficulty to accept that.  Again, I would take an hour drive daily to visit her and encourage her not to give up the hope.  Suddenly, I felt week and sleepy.  As time went by it was getting worse.  I visited my family physician and had blood test first, then ultra-sound, then reveived an appointment to see a specialist in the most well-known cancer hospital..

Still remember vividly when I sat down infront of my new doctor after had had another blood test and bone mellow test.  I broke the silence by asking him calmly" It is leukemia. isn't it?"  Although my heart was pounding hard and longing for a positive answer badly but his reponses was"I am not gonna lie to you about it. Its in the family" Right from that moment, the sourrding world seemed to be faded away or it was I who was sinking deeply into unknown.

I managed to take subway home and drive my self up north to see mom.  I did not let her know how much trouble I was in.  Unfortunately, one of my brothers told her  the story several weeks later without my consent.  Mom was deeply saddened by hearing that.  As a parent myself I understand perfectly that parents worry about their kids much much more than themselves.  Yet I could not change the whole matter into better.  I started to undergo chemo treatment.