發一個9年級孩子的作業。感覺我是不可能幫助孩子改essay 的

來源: tax2 2024-01-29 21:45:28 [] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (5002 bytes)

It was 9:00 AM. I sat at my desk, staring out the window in a daze. The murder was on my mind, and I had an idea of who had done it. I breathe in a lung of smoke, feeling a dry warmth spread through my body before exhaling and letting a coil of tobacco waft to the ceiling. Suddenly, I hear a knock on my door. It’s Watson. I quickly put out my cigar, knowing Watson wasn’t fond of my smoking habits. He comes inside, a puzzled expression on his face.
“I just don’t understand the reasoning behind Stapleton’s case,” He mutters to himself, “I mean, I truly thought that out of everyone, he was the least suspicious.” I chuckle at his comment. Watson was truly clueless at times. 
“Watson, what you’re wondering is exactly what he wants you to think,” I say, “Stapleton must have thought he would be the least suspected.”
He lets out a small sigh, observing the smoke that filled the room, “If anyone were to see this, they’d think our office went up in flames..” He says, opening up a window to release the smoke. Suddenly, there’s another knock on the door.
 “Come in.” 
Stapleton slips through the crack in the door, seeming disheveled. His hair is disarrayed, his eyes tired and red. His clothes bore wrinkles, and his socks were of different shades of gray. He must have been up late last night, wondering how we had caught him even after his desperate attempts to cover up his tracks. 
“So, Stapleton. Mind telling us why you lied?” I ask, my voice snapping Stapleton out of his mindless trance. His eyes immediately move to stare at me.
     “Lie? Why would I lie?” 
His voice seemed confident, but his body language spoke otherwise. I eye him, patiently assessing his demeanor. 
“Why did you lie about Miss Stapleton being your sister?” The moment I bring up Miss Stapleton, he seems to jolt, his eyes frantic with fear. We had figured him out perfectly.
“I’m not sure I understand,” He says, his voice shaky. “Miss Stapleton is my sister.” He stares at Watson and I with unsettling eyes.
“I don’t believe that’s the truth, sir. You see, Watson and I have uncovered that the dear Miss Stapleton is actually your wife. The wife you have been trying to hide.” I say, confidently. I was positive this was the truth.
He lets out a small sigh before answering,“Even if you are right, I should tell you that Miss Stapleton and I were up to nothing suspicious. And who are you to snoop around in our personal business? You may be a detective, but I beg of you not to be a snoop. I must ask though, how did you figure us out?”
“The way you reacted towards our dear friend Henry’s advances were nothing other than strange. What sibling, no matter how close, would act so aggressively toward their sister’s suitor? The answer is none. We investigated further to find out that you and Miss Stapleton are actually a couple, hiding your real relationship in this small town,” I say, “Such an act is awfully suspicious.. don’t you think? So suspicious, that it seems as though you were trying to hide a crime..” I smirk, we had caught him. He seemed to get progressively more anxious as I continued speaking. 
“You’re actually after the riches of the Baskervilles, wishing to foil Sir Charle’s inheritance by killing him and then Sir Henry!”
Stapleton’s face turns pale, and he immediately tries to turn and run out of my office. I grab his arm, keeping him from running away.
“Did you truly think you would be able to kill Sir Henry and run away with his inheritance with your wife?” 
Stapleton stays silent, fear is apparent in his eyes. Watson stares at me in awe. He must be impressed by my excellent detective skills, something he still struggled on.
 “Even if you don’t answer me, you’ll have a court case to answer anyway. Watson, take him straight to the police station.”
Watson immediately grabs the man, taking him out of the office. Once they leave, I turn around, staring out my window again. The foggy streets outside our office on 221B Baker Street create an awful dreary atmosphere. I think to myself, feeling melancholy. I decided to light another cigar, even if Watson didn’t like it. 
Around a week later, there was a huge scandal all over the news. ‘Breaking News! Stapletons feign ignorance in the courtroom, and are found guilty of manslaughter!’ Thanks to my bright deductions and Watson’s hard work, we had figured out the case. Yet another successful mission accomplished for the number one detective, Sherlock Holmes.

所有跟帖: 

很多小孩寫的essay都是這種style的,一般跟看過的有些類似。不敢描寫,這就是需要改進的地方 -avw- 給 avw 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 21:48:09

語文老師讓他們看完福爾摩斯探案集,根據一個場景自己編故事 -tax2- 給 tax2 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 21:52:47

寫得不錯 -HappyWed- 給 HappyWed 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 21:56:08

謝謝, 感覺是天生的,沒經過訓練,明顯寫得比姐姐好一些 -tax2- 給 tax2 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 22:02:23

寫得很棒啊,孩子有天賦,加油 -sanxia- 給 sanxia 發送悄悄話 sanxia 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/30/2024 postreply 04:52:59

了不起,我家9年級寫這些東西估計得吭哧吭哧一個月也寫不出來。 -藍山碧玉- 給 藍山碧玉 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 22:04:46

男孩子?她邏輯思維比較好,可惜不喜歡看書,隻做最基本的工作 -tax2- 給 tax2 發送悄悄話 (48 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 22:15:28

嗯!我娃愛看書但就是不會寫東西。發愁以後文書咋寫。現在不打遊戲上網聊天的娃都絕跡了。 -藍山碧玉- 給 藍山碧玉 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 22:18:39

著急就請私教吧,一周一小時一對一指導, 會有效,堅持兩年 -tax2- 給 tax2 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 01/29/2024 postreply 22:24:40

寫得真好:)大學申請文書的確不用家長操心 -兩女寶媽- 給 兩女寶媽 發送悄悄話 兩女寶媽 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/30/2024 postreply 05:25:16

巴斯克維爾的獵犬 -kingfish2010- 給 kingfish2010 發送悄悄話 kingfish2010 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 04/28/2024 postreply 15:01:47

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