He did not get adequate care and love from his own mother.

There's an empty space in his heart left by his mother, which he has been trying to fill ever since by longing for that attention that never came.

The ACT of filling that space has become an end in itself.

He has found a perfect situation for him to be in, so he can continue that ACT of longing for the attention that will never come.

 

So, need to remind our children to be more self-aware, have more self-control, and less controlled by reflexes conditioned long ago.