我的一首英文長詩

there are tons of things
in dark
deep
shadows
such as love
love
is red
a flaming rosy fire
but is also
dark
it is a rainy city in
blues
love
is rains
and
is blue-blended
cocktails
hard
sharp
overturning
the cup
en
slightly
dizzy
dunking   
steps
like
moves
in dance
do
swirling
spinning
bright
bubbles
flowing up
and
thirsty-
yes
thirsty-
quenching
drinks

missing
is also
dark
a blood
stream
meandering
in the rains
in all those rains
the rainy city
the rainy streets
the rainy ankles
the rainy knees
the rainy face
the rainy hair
the desire
eyes
our longing for
the night city
lonely
lights
the white
pigeon
flying out
of the darkness
in the deepest
space

the rains
all of
the rainy days
like
jazz
music
red flag
the white balloons
the blues
beats
the flashing
candies
metal spoons
and tiny
knife
and your steps, broken thoughts
into pieces
those headlights

in the pouring rains
on the heavy roads
and those wandering
days
on the meandering ways
those wind blows
yes
those wind blows
through
all the years
is there anyone
listening to and
deciphering out
finally
or turning  
away
his
back?

or

may -
be
she loves me!

li
2021/02

 

所有跟帖： 

• 啊，我親愛的朋友，這首立的英文詩立就獻給我親愛的朋友們啦。 -立- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:04:07

• nice -老花貓- ♂ (35 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:09:40

• 太好啦。老貓。先給你一拳。不過，中文版還要修改修改。最近光改英文了。 -立- ♀ (1079 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:14:51

• 太 -老花貓- ♂ (86 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:21:03

• 英 -靈動的雙子- ♀ (36 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 14:44:25

• 好。每行一個單詞就可以拉得更長了 -LinMu- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:23:07

• 康明斯一個字就可以把脖子繞一圈，也有可能打結。 -影雲- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:24:25

• 那立的這首可以繞地球一圈了 -LinMu- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:35:58

• Why not? -影雲- ♀ (1609 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:37:04

• 林木可能沒有關注過現代詩歌。在英語裏類似的格式很多，談不上創新。策蘭最後一部詩集，幾乎都是幾個單詞了。 -立- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 16:15:43

• 照你說的就做作了。度非常重要。比如，這首詩by BUKOWSK. -立- ♀ (3165 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 16:05:51

• 喜歡詩歌裏豐富的意象/節奏/情感！ -影雲- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:26:37

• 要有變化，不論哪一篇你用的都是那麽幾個詞 -LinMu- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:38:44

• 簡單的說吧，天上一個月亮，地下關於它的詩篇多少？ -影雲- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:42:25

• 向你學習中文。好的。的確我語言很貧乏。 -影雲- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 13:44:00

• 你這個說的非常到位。這首就是節奏和意象。所以采取這樣的形式。如果是弗羅斯特的詩，就不宜這樣分行和敘述了。 -立- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 16:13:14

• 影雲，要不你再朗誦一下這首詩？你上次的藍與白英文版太迷人了。非常美。 -applebee3- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 19:03:01

• 可能我剛聽了那首歌，所以覺得這首詩象歌詞。挺好的。：） -applebee3- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 18:53:47

• 什麽歌，請發個鏈接。我感覺這首詩讀著還是很過癮的。如果我有勇氣就讀了發出來。但我太靦腆了。我的話總是太少了。比我想象的少太多了。 -立- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 19:31:23

• 你可以讀出來啊。如果你喜歡朗誦，中文的都好。那歌我剛發過，發了。不過你不要聯想太多，我就感覺。 -applebee3- ♀ (38 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 19:42:44

• 我 我我我根根根本本本本本呢本讀讀讀讀不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不 -立- ♀ (35 bytes) () 02/17/2021 postreply 19:53:43