擁有你自己

What do a person want for his/her life.
I closed my eyes, and I think here is what I want.

It is a sense of certainty that I could feel the sunshine.
It is a sense of certainty that I am healthy and alert.
It is a sense of certainty that things will turn green and children will grow.
It is a sense of certainty that people around me are happy and healthy.
It is a sense of certainty of basically life.

In order to have these feelings of certainty, people do all kinds of stuff to achieve it.
Some people keep making money.
Some people keep building up relationships to create opportunity.
Some people go change citizenship.
Some people go find a gun and hold the gun in his/her hand…..

Amazingly, people THINK they could feel that kind of certainty by holding a gun or acquiring a lot of wealth and materials or go to another continent or planet.

But once they accumulated money, materials, built up status, relationships, they do NOT feel what they think they should feel.
That certainty is just NOT there.

People are getting laid off nowadays. People started to feel uncertain about their jobs. They keep asking for information about their company plan. They keep preparing to apply for another job to get ready for the day that will come to them. With everything going on, how could one feel certain that he/she will be okay?

And yet, you could just find there are some people, they are just happy, relaxed and ultimately CERTAIN that things will be fine.
If you look at them, what do they have that most people do NOT?

Big bank account? Connection to the government? A very good spouse? A promise of promotion? An US or Europe citizenship? A Fararri?

Some of them do, and some of them do NOT.

How ever, if you feel them and look deep enough, you will find one thing in common.

They all OWN their lives.

A person who owns his/her life will know where they are going, and they will go towards it regardless what their current situation is. That’s why they feel certain that spring will come after winter and that’s why they feel certain they will be healthy and have healthy/happy relationships with other people. They will feel certain that even right now their bank if empty or they are out of job, they will get by and steer to the final direction of where they are going. Because they own their lives, they will feel even okay when they fail. They simply make another plan and change directions. They will work/live with people that they understand will help/support their destiny. They will remove obstacles and enemies that are blocking their way. If they are temporarily being attacked or trapped, they will rest and the next day, they will keep moving again.

You must be thinking, I understand everything you are saying, and I SIMPLY do NOT CHOOSE o be that kind of person because I feel that’s too much work and I am NOT strong/smart enough to compete in order to WIN. If I do NOT win, and do NOT get what I want, I will feel bad and that hurts. Because it hurts, I will NOT even try. Why would everyone tells me to do something that will hurt myself?

I want you to close your eyes and ask yourself,
Do you want to feel certain that your life will be healthy?
Do you want to feel certain that you will raise your children and they will grow happily?
Do you want to feel certain that you will be loved?
Do you want to feel certain that regardless of what happens, you will be at peace and people around you will be happy?

I guess the answer is
“YES, but I have to WIN and be SMARTER and STRONGER than OTHER people in order to feel that kind of certainty !!!! and I do NOT want to fight that fight and get hurt !!!!
I would rather CHOOSE to stay in my own little world and be safe….”

That is the how usually people think, and that is EXTREMELY NOT true.
There is NO direct relationship between WINNING competition AND feeling of certainty.

You say, that’s bull shit. How could I feel certain that I will be fine when I lose?
How could I feel certain that I would be fine when I do NOT get what I want?

If you ask those people who own their lives, they will tell you that I will change my strategy of my ways of feeling and approaching things, and EVENTUALLY I will get there.

There many BAD feelings that hurts so much and so painful that makes people confused and feel uncertain about themselves. When similar situation happens, they will PREDICT same bad feelings will happen again and they will simply avoid getting hurt by NOT putting themselves in the same situation. They think they have learnt the history and they could use the same thing to predict future.

They think the pain that happens will happen again and again. It is permanent.
They think because they failed in one little thing, THEY are the FAILURE. It is personal.
They think because they failed in one aspect of life, they will fail EVERYWHERE. It is pervasive.

It is just a distorted and WRONG perception of life because the pain distorts people’s emotions.

A person tried once to direct his/her life and failed. They did NOT get what they want. They feel the pain and they swear they do NOT want to feel the pain again.
They use their brain and suddenly, they say I will just let others direct my life and use them to get what I want. That way, I do NOT have to put myself in the situation that potentially could lead to pain again.
That’s the moment you start to DISOWN your life.

A person who disowns his/her life will ALWAYS feel UNCERTAIN because how would one know what OTHERS MIGHT do to them?
One who disowns his/her life will feel UNCERTAIN about people around them once a LITTLE thing unpredicted happens.
One who disowns his/her life will NEVER feel healthy because their WORRIES about uncertainties destroyed their health.
One who disowns his/her life will constantly cause pain in people around so that they feel a little bit MORE certain that others will do what he/she wants others to do.
One who disowns his/her life will feel UNCERTAIN even in the spring time because he/she fears winter will come. When winter does come, they will say, “yeah, I knew it!”

There is just NO way for a person who disowns his/her life to feel CERTAIN just about anything.

Because everybody wants that sense of certainty/security, to OWN one’s life is NOT a CHOICE. It is a MUST.
Anyone who gives that away will NEVER feel the certainty again, and they will live their lives in SHADOWS of doubts of UNCERTAINTIES.

To own your life does NOT mean competition. It does NOT mean you have to be BETTER than others in order to feel the certainties.

It simply means you understand you are the one that will direct your own life to the direction that you want.
Because you are the one that is directing it, you feel certain that it will be eventually arriving somewhat like what you wanted.
It also changes your perceptions about failure, they are simply lessons that will lead you to where you want to go in the future.
Yes, it will expose you to the situations that might lead to failure and pain, but isn’t it just what life is all about, to feel the pain and grow and feel the courage and certainty?

Or is life is about doing what ever one could to avoid feeling pain, and live under the FEELING fear all the time?

Different people have different capabilities, but as long as they own their life, they will in the end more or less get close to where they want, and they always feel that CERTAINTY, NOT because they have money/status/citizenship.

Once you decide to OWN your life, and start to decide to get that certainty back little by little, there are many so called “choices” that you could make.

How ever, the difference is, because you start to OWN it, you understand you are the director that will be responsible for it, you will start to drive it to the way you want and you will choose to work with the ones that work for you and avoid the ones that work against you.
You will NOT feel scared about being alone or lose in competitions. They are simply part of the path that you need to go through to get there you want. There is nobody else to blame, you are the ONE, the only ONE that will be able to direct it and be responsible for it.

During the process you will feel certainty more and more and you will feel happier and happier regardless what situation you are in, because you always know you can get out of it eventually.

You think you are making choices by using your brain to maximize the OUTCOME and that is a wise thing to do.
Those choices are simply old historical pictures distorted by the mind of different people.
You can borrow from it, but that’s really just the 2nd step.

The first step is to understand what it means to take ownership of your life.

Understand that if you do NOT own it and direct your own life, you will never get the feeling of certainty and security.
Getting a job, a status will NEVER be able to give you that certainty.
Making a smart choice will make you feel you are doing something REASONABLE, but isn’t the uncertainty is still there in your head?

Deep down, you feel it and you know it.

Why NOT just start to own it? Isn’t it feeling good to take the responsibility and be the one to deal with the failure which eventually will lead to success?
Isn’t it great to feel good even when you do NOT get what you want just because you own what ever your life is?

Just OWN IT…