'say you love me, say you are my woman'

 


He whispers next to my ear.
"say you love me".
" I love you".
"say you are my woman"
"i am your woman".

but i am not your woman. i am my own woman.


From the depth of his eyes, i see the sparkle of tears. but he did not cry.all these years he only cried twice, for me, for us.
when i just met him, i was such a kid.
He said--" i never cry" and i said--"i will surely make you cry".He laughed hard, and remembered it as a joke( of me) .
Of course he cried for me. but i cried for him for so many times, i feel that my tears are dried out.


" you know, all these years, i saw your change, " he said--" before you make a big change, you always would experiance a long time of pain."
"yes, you are right. that pain was too long".
"then, once you change, you will never come back. and you will be happy."
"that's so right". a big smile comes up, i feel as if i am listening to my heart.
Who else would know me this well in this world?

Yes i am so happy now.
Somebody asked me, what on earth do i want ( from a man)??
what do i want? i asked myself.
I want love as a breeze of spring. no weight, no possession.
I will have no expectation from him, and he would have no expectation from me.
I only want happiness from love, no tears, no pain.

I know i am hurt deeply.
But i also had moved on and made the big change.
I am ready to find out about myself. i am ready to see the world again.

women tend to take man as their biggest decoration, without figuring out what they really want for themselves.
I use to believe men mean the door to the world. i envy their power, their intelligence. their cruity.
So i took a man of intelligence as my decoration.
it was when  i had taken his happiness as my happiness, his pain as my pain, i start to realize i lost myself.
then i lost him. then he lost me.

even now, we feel like family, we feel like friends, sometimes, we even feel like lovers like before,  i will never go back to my craziness to him and to a love affair.
until i got back my courage...to the world of passion.
right now i am so tired.

I know, for me,
it is hard to not wanting to pocess a man i like. but i try.

I will keep telling myself--
If you love somebody, set him free.

所有跟帖： 

• 三年前的舊文。。。 -bambooseven- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:05:01

• 回複：三年前的舊文。。。 -阿裏- ♂ (107 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:14:38

• 雖然我有意見，還是讀了每一個詞。。。 -阿裏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:09:06

• 有意見就說。i am listening. -bambooseven- ♀ (93 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:17:06

• 自我保護意識太弱。人要像光一樣：波粒二象。不能一根筋。 -阿裏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:19:31

• 愛還自我保護？顧不上那末多。 -bambooseven- ♀ (81 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:24:51

• 就是說要又能投入，又能不被傷害。是不是？你將來能嗎？我一直能。 -阿裏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:22:08

• 還沒有練成金鍾罩鐵布衫的功夫。隻會裝酷。 -bambooseven- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:26:31

• 總對同事說：“人，不該在同一個坑裏摔兩跤。。。” -阿裏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:29:30

• 所以我才問自己為什麽？？ -bambooseven- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:31:10

• 你具有很多男性的優質，但缺乏波粒二象性。可以當肖邦，但成不了貝多芬。 -阿裏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:36:26

• 回複：你具有很多男性的優質，但缺乏波粒二象性。可以當肖邦，但成不了貝多芬。 -bambooseven- ♀ (36 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:42:52

• 嗬嗬，你想聽別人誇。你有以下男生的優質： -阿裏- ♂ (238 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:49:45

• 謝謝誇。明白一點你說的 -bambooseven- ♀ (102 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 06:56:37

• 是天質。肖邦不可能是貝多芬。不過，哪天我專門寫個帖子 -阿裏- ♂ (43 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 07:02:27

• 好。 -bambooseven- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 07:09:49

• Have a good day! -阿裏- ♂ (21 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 07:11:58

• U 2. -bambooseven- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 07:15:02

• 我感覺男女說的“set free”意義不同，感覺男人要是真正喜歡一個女人，其實是很喜歡 -fpxjz- ♀ (354 bytes) () 09/19/2011 postreply 19:17:53