Like you said it's not a fair game. I always believe that a heart is not as random as it might seem to be. It belongs to the one you love. I never know and I don't believe there's a way to reject what it wants. It would only wind up with more obsession. For myself, even it has been the most painful experience, he is still the one. And I know he is part of me now.
If you already told you hu*****and, I admire your courage. Take care.
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