夜好象是短的，早晨醒來，看到鏡中的自己，眼睛竟然是腫的，記得昨夜是安靜地睡下的，難道是夢中在哭？不記得了...
不再記得夜晚的夢了，曾經是夜夜有夢的，清晰的，完整的，有頭有尾的夢．如今的夜夢似乎隻有紛亂和沉滯的模糊，夢中混亂迷糊著，但醒來是清醒的...
這個春天沒有雨，也許都下在心裏了．就象一首歌"我來安慰你的憂傷，誰來慰籍我的惆悵"，這個春天是明朗美好的，也是悵然若失的．跟著在美的朋友在春光中唱"learn to be lonely", 隨著國內的朋友感慨著"人生之無奈，想世界之蒼茫，歎人生之卑微。天地不仁，以萬物為芻狗..."．朋友兒時的朋友人到中年突然離世，看到朋友在博客中寫到自己聽到消息後的"淚崩如雨"，自己也濕了眼圈．最近好象很容易感傷，也許真是春天到了．上下班的路上，步行在春天的晨曦或暮藹中，想起什麽，眼圈自顧自地就紅了，掛在耳上的ipod兀自在那不斷地唱著，我卻一首也沒聽進去...
另一個朋友發來一個長郵件，說起自己近期走出困惑的內心掙紮曆程．朋友也是屬於"心氣很強，對自我有期許"的一類，歸國也有幾年，但一直磕磕絆絆不順，先是生活不順，後是事業也出問題，去年將近半年的時間，朋友把自己隱身起來，讀了大量的關於宗教，心理，哲學，及possitive thinking等書籍，同時也做一些meditations．很高興地聽到他慢慢走了出來．我介紹了自己的一個朋友給他，兩個人談得很好，已經基本敲定了合作細節．能幫成朋友一件事，自己也很高興，始終記得自己當初在北京嚐試為自己做點事的艱難，在最初最難的日子，這位朋友一直是在心理上傾力相助的，是那種很真誠坦誠的支持，大家在創業途中的相互扶持和幫助，僅僅就是為了成就那句"great to have you as a friend"! 雖然都走過彎路，但始終都保有再出發的勇氣．
很難想象，生活中如果沒有朋友，生命中的夢想是否會遠到再也看不見．心情很糟很糟的時候，女友在msn中陪著我，對我說"你是生命的過客，掙紮，孤獨，寂寞，心痛甚至SF都是你的過客..."都會過去的，是的，都會過去的...能留下來的，是永遠的友情和麵對變化的勇氣.
周五的晚上，在給每個朋友發那個link, 那個Susan Boyle的, 這個47歲的蘇格蘭女人用她的聲音贏得了世界，她是個從未結過婚，沒有體驗過親吻的女人，她參加比賽的願望之一是能夠找到一個伴，能夠彼此相愛一起走過下半生．不知怎麽，看到這句普通平實的話，比她的歌聲更令人動容，我看到了一個女人的真實夢想，我的淚水衝出了眼眶...
I dreamed a dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izucgB-lBaI
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they turn your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my dreams with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'd come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
There was a time, when men were kind
And their voices were soft
And their words were inviting
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time it all went wrong
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