【七律】憶雪

【七律】憶雪

 

夢馭洋風海水寬，西行不易返東難。

重門鎖處青春遠，瑞雪飛時廣宇寒。

嶺上梨花連陌白，窗前瓊屑與腮乾。

紅梅掛樹心香滿，指與鄰家小妹看。

 

Recalling a Snowing Feast

 

Dreaming of riding the ocean’s wind

over its wide water to travel back and forth.

It was difficult to go westward back then.

Returning eastward is even harder.

 

Youth is far away after the doors

of the past closed down one by one.

I still remember that vast world vividly

where the auspicious snow flew around me.

 

The pear blossoms whitened the mountain

range first, then spread to the field below.

Outside the window snowflakes were glittering,

like the tiny crystals on her cheeks after they dried.

 

The red blossoms bursting out on the plum tree

filled my heart with fragrance.

Pointing to them I called out the girl

next door to witness their beauty.

 

【五絕】賞雪

 

 

片片自天涯，翩翩落玉紗。

音符幽且淨，飄作雪絨花。

 

Joy of Snow

 

Every snowflake comes

from the faraway world.

Piece by piece,

more and more.

No fall is more graceful.

 

While flying,

musical notes,

quiet and pure,

turn into edelweiss.

 

(© January 20, 2024, godog)

所有跟帖： 

• 紅梅掛樹心香滿，指與鄰家小妹看。收得自然優美，讚！ -方外居士- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 10:57:47

• 重門鎖處青春遠，瑞雪飛時廣宇寒。讚一個！ -yongshi99- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 11:38:03

• 重門鎖處青春遠，瑞雪飛時廣宇寒。欣賞 -lilly28- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 12:51:11

• 重門鎖處青春遠，瑞雪飛時廣宇寒。好。 -蘇牧- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 13:29:54

• 嶺上梨花連陌白，窗前瓊屑與腮乾。這麽工整！ -Mimmy- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 13:30:00

• 多謝諸位詩友臨讀摘句鼓勵 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 14:20:34

• 增加了前作五絕賞雪的英文版 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 14:21:01

• 嶺上梨花連陌白，非常自然，但是出律了。白改素入律但不自然。指與鄰家小妹看的看讀平聲微微不符合現在的習慣。美玉微瑕。 -油翁- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 15:36:22

• G詩友用的是平水韻，白字為平水韻入聲字，仄韻十一陌，不出律。 -山水蒼茫- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 07:59:31

• 謝謝山水兄解釋 -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 08:19:29

• 多些詩友指正，您是對的，如果按中華通韻(新韻)，白和看都出律了，隻有按更老的平水韻才沒有出律。這是個矛盾， -godog- ♂ (186 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 08:18:17

• 紅梅掛樹心香滿，指與鄰家小妹看。結的好！讚好律！ -天玉之- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 19:46:49

• 謝謝玉教鼓勵！ -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 08:20:48

• 愛上小妹，當贈一剪梅。 -秦照- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/20/2024 postreply 23:16:56

• 哈哈，好建議，不過我即不會唱歌，也不會作詞，又怕一剪刀下去，剪錯地方，剪斷了情絲：）） -godog- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 08:25:15

• 您這幾句入詞甚妙 -lilly28- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 10:07:11

• 重門鎖處青春遠，瑞雪飛時廣宇寒。好句 -asd001- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/21/2024 postreply 20:57:20