頷聯意境頗佳,但覺得頸聯未起到錦上添花的功能:句式結構稍有重複,因而略顯拖遝而傷節奏。
酒兄是認真論詩之人才與兄坦直個見,望無見怪。也請酒兄多賜教!
頷聯意境頗佳,但覺得頸聯未起到錦上添花的功能:句式結構稍有重複,因而略顯拖遝而傷節奏。
酒兄是認真論詩之人才與兄坦直個見,望無見怪。也請酒兄多賜教!
•
多謝作業本兄寶貴意見。見內。
-偏愛打油不沽酒-
♂
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08/14/2019 postreply
07:57:08
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