結有“歸舟”,綰合首句“水長流”,轉句若言“潮起”,似有重複而失闊大感,作“更欲”如何?
問好阿留兄!起承轉結,次第綰合,意韻流暢,詠懷好律!讚!一點小建議:
所有跟帖:
• 大謝清泉兄雅賞並賜教!兄慧眼,原想尾聯呼應一下首聯,但確實略感重複,俺再斟酌一下。 -阿留- ♂ (129 bytes) () 08/31/2017 postreply 09:03:38
• 大謝清泉兄雅賞並賜教!兄慧眼,原想尾聯呼應一下首聯,但確實略感重複,俺再斟酌一下。 -阿留- ♂ (129 bytes) () 08/31/2017 postreply 09:03:38
WENXUECITY.COM does not represent or guarantee the truthfulness, accuracy, or reliability of any of communications posted by other users.
Copyright ©1998-2024 wenxuecity.com All rights reserved. Privacy Statement & Terms of Use & User Privacy Protection Policy