近體素來講究詩不點題。第二句的“雨聲”改成“風聲”便更好了。
所有跟帖:
• 謝謝老師建議, 接受並已改。問好老師。 -我要學詩詞- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/26/2016 postreply 06:55:24
• 謝謝老師建議, 接受並已改。問好老師。 -我要學詩詞- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/26/2016 postreply 06:55:24
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