您這首如果按照古韻(平水韻),"魂“也出韻了。
此外重字本身不算出律,看用得如何。您的重字多用得不錯。
您這首如果按照古韻(平水韻),"魂“也出韻了。
此外重字本身不算出律,看用得如何。您的重字多用得不錯。
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