如樓上兩位詩友所言,孤平了。
“故土”的“故”字也出律了,此處當平。“情”出韻,即使按飛雁格,“情”是後鼻音,也無法通韻。“冷”和“飾”必改其一為平聲,否則
本帖於 2016-06-01 05:58:09 時間, 由普通用戶 阿留 編輯
如樓上兩位詩友所言,孤平了。
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