【七律】也試譯《葉慈/當你老了》（進退格）

【七律】也試譯《葉慈/當你老了》（進退格）

殘鬢斜陽不貸人，爐旁半醒夢氤氳
雙眸曾惑情多少，千慕難知愛假真
唯有心緣輕語處，仍餘孤影倩魂殷
膝前熾火隨風已，飛崿星光匿我珍

When You are Old

By Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

 

所有跟帖： 

• 老爺藝高膽大，英詩譯成中文已難達雅，唯有心緣輕語處，仍餘孤影倩魂殷，拜服。 -黃花崗- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 08:17:50

• 問候黃兄！您謬讚了，藝高膽大談不上，俺這是“無知者無畏！” -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:40:26

• “唯有心緣輕語處，仍餘孤影倩魂殷”，膠兄好律，欣賞！ -寒硯- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 09:22:14

• 多謝寒妹鼓勵，問候！ -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:41:15

• 雙眸曾惑情多少，千慕難知愛假真。太棒了。這兩句送給章子怡很恰當！ -Yimusanfendi- ♂ (48 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 10:23:21

• +1, 古味詮英詩，好律，欣賞！ 莫要對號入坐。 -相看不厭- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 11:45:34

• 多謝看兄鼓勵！ -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:44:56

• 多謝一兄鼓勵！您樓下的現代詩譯文很棒，感覺比冰心譯得好！尤其是pilgrim一詞 -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:44:10

• 更愛頷聯～ -Eragon- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 11:08:28

• 多謝龍兄！ -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:45:26

• 膠兄新詩譯舊本拿手，這英詩翻律僅一步之遙~~~欣賞！ -龐士清- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 11:34:55

• 多謝厐兄鼓勵！拿手談不上，勉而為之吧。問好！ -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:47:10

• 膠兄的律詩翻譯功夫了得! 喜歡! -歲寒鬆柏- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:34:27

• 多謝歲寒兄鼓勵！見笑了！ -膠老爺- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 15:47:59

• 非常棒，讚！ -阿留- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 16:00:51

• 嘆漢語之精，短短數字意境深！ -木子心- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 16:07:46

• 雙眸曾惑情多少，千慕難知愛假真。。阿童學習老爺好譯！ -阿童木牧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 20:36:24

• 膠兄好律深賞！ -一劍天涯- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/05/2015 postreply 05:19:30